4 Best Gentle Sex Positions (For Virgins And Anyone Who Likes Pain-Free Sex)

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Spoiler alert: It's more than the position.

Losing your virginity is supposed to be a special and intimate time. Oh, and let's not forget the dreadful pain. Or, so that's what they keep telling us.

,But the thing is, losing your virginity is not a one size fits all experience and because we all go into it thinking that it's supposed to be one way — it typically goes to shit. Don't deny it, there's no way I'm alone in this.

My experience with losing my virginity was nothing like people said it would be, and that's OK. Because I missed out on the painful part; it just never happened for me. Looking back, this can likely be chalked up to the guy's oversized ego and undersized penis.

Whatever the case was, the reality is this: Sex now sometimes hurts more than it ever did when I lost my virginity. And sex now can be far more intimate than it was when I lost my virginity.

Which goes to my point: No one experience is the same. Different factors, different f*cking result (literally) and unfortunately (I mean really unfortunate) you'll never know until you give it a go.

That said, I talked to Sexpert Michelle Hope to see how to reduce pain during sex for everyone, but especially virgins having sex for the first time ... should pain wind up being involved in your sexual experience.
 

Related: What Men AND Women Really Think Of 7 Classic Sex Positions
 

Before we dig into the juicy stuff, there are a few other things that Hope wants —  NO — needs you to know about having comfortable sex and it's this:

Comfortable sex starts with good lubrication and good communication.

That means you need to amp up the foreplay, fellas — our expert tells us women take longer to warm up.

"When we're talking about the most comfortable sex positions it's not always about the position, although yes, that's very important.

It's also about lubrication and making sure you're lubricated enough to allow the vagina to stretch because during arousal a vagina can deepen from 2 to 4 inches, so it was definitively built for things to come in and go out — so it's more about lubrication.

Also, the best position is communication and rooting your sex experience in communication: what feels good and what doesn't feel good.

The first and foremost [important part of comfortable sex] is how you communicate with our partners; what feels good and what doesn't feel good; and how do we communicate stop if we need to and set boundaries.

Because that's really a part of safe-play is actually knowing that you're safe, which can allow the body to relax and open up the vagina, which can allow for easier penetration." 
 

Related: The 9 Best Sex Positions That Stimulate Your Clit And Make You Orgasm — FAST
 

You heard it hear first: lubrication (water-based!) and condoms are king.

And after you've got that part handled, then here are 4 of the most gentle sex positions for virgins or anyone else who may experience discomfort during sex.

 

1. Girl on Top

You've probably heard this before, but this position in reverse or just plain ol' cowgirl is a top-pick because it gives women more control of how deep your partner's penis is going. If she isn't ready to take more, then she can go at her own pace. 

 

2. Man on Top (Missionary)

Hope says, "The benefit of the missionary is the eye to eye contact, which allows you to make a connection with the person you're having sex with, which I think is very important in losing your virginity. Because my hope would be that it's consensual and intimate and you're able to look each other in the eye and you're able to communicate." So to summarize, making certain that you're maintaining intimacy through regular missionary position can help decrease discomfort for both parties.
 

Related: 7 Ways To Make The 69 Position STOP Being Awkward And START Being Awesome
 

Besides, communication is something that most of us desire when we're losing our virginity. However, Hope also points out that it much like "Girl on Top," this position allows you to guide the penis and take it piece by piece, if necessary.

 

3. Planked Doggy Style

If you're looking to dive into doggy style as with anything, baby steps are crucial. Given that, "Often times from behind [insertion] can be way too deep," according to Hope, she advises for you to lay on your stomach (as opposed to being on fours) with your legs together, since this is a position you can control with your glutes (by squeezing) to control the penis from going in too deep.

 

4. Side-by-Side (Spooning)

Spooning, either face-to-face or face-to-back, provides the same sense of control that can be gained from lying on your stomach. 

Beware: She does warn that while this position is more comfortable, it might be a little too comfortable if your man isn't ... blessed in the right department.  

"If you're losing your virginity and your partner doesn't have a big penis, some of these positions might not work for you. And not everybody has a teeny-tiny vagina," she says. It's a gentle reminder from Hope that brings us back to our first point: not every experience with sex or losing your virginity will be the same. 
 

Related: Why You NEED To Try The Reverse Cowgirl Position ASAP
 

So, if there's one thing you take with you to make the best of your first time it would be: lubrication, foreplay, communication, and then positioning. Hope says, women take about 10-12 minutes to become aroused, and men are much quicker than that, so it's key that you remember these basics as they all sorta go hand in hand.

Setting the tone and the mood is setting you up for success!

Good luck. 

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