How You Get Major Revenge On Your Ex, Per Your Zodiac Sign

He left you, he should feel bad.

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When you’re in a relationship with someone and it ends, that doesn’t necessarily mean that all your feelings cease to exist as well. You can go through a variety of feelings — everything from extreme anger, to hurt, to confusion, to forgiveness, and there are times when you go through all those feelings in one day.

You may want to be the kind of person who wishes their ex well and waves them cheerily goodbye; however, even the most easy-going, all-is-well-with-the-universe kind of person can have their bitter, nasty, vengeful moment.

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But what if you don’t wish your ex well? What if you’d rather they jump off a cliff or, at least, bounce a bunch checks without it being their error?

It’s okay to be honest with yourself and how you’re feeling, and go through a period where you realize your ex was a douche and that they deserve whatever they have coming to them. It’s therapeutic, not wrathful, to imagine numerous bad luck scenarios for your ex, especially if they were a dick when they were with you and/or cheated on you, treated you or your loved ones like crap, or were simply not good people.

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RELATED: 14 Quotes That Profoundly Describe How Much Breakups SUCK

You don’t want your ex to feel good as if their behavior was okay because you don’t want to see them repeat it on someone else. Sometimes, our exes need to be taught a lesson and they need to understand that hurting and not considering how their actions will hurt people is bad.

At the very least, you might hope that your ex gets an extreme case of loneliness and mourns the loss of you from their life every single day.

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You do feel sorry for them in some way, like how they are surviving the breakup, but they must not be very smart if they could let you go without a fight. This is how you want your ex to feel after a breakup, based on your zodiac sign.

ARIES (March 21 - April 19)

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You want him to feel listless, dissatisfied, and a little hopeless. You can't think of anything worse than not feeling anything and not wanting to do anything. Sadness would be too easy for him to get over, but if he just felt bored and useless, you'd feel better, especially while you were out conquering the world and winning at everything.

 

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One

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TAURUS (April 20 - May 20)

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You want him to feel extremely jealous, like how you feel when you look at his social media. You want him to be so jealous of your new life that he can't stand it and that he feels eaten alive by his jealousy. Maybe he'll realize the huge mistake he made by ever letting you go; if not, let him suffer seeing how amazing your life is without him.

 

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One

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GEMINI (May 21 - June 20)

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Post-breakup, you want him to feel as if he'll never connect with anyone on the same level as he did with you. No one will understand his out-there theories, his sense of humor, nor his philosophies on life. He won't ever have that thrill of talking to another person and feeling as if they really get him. He'll go through life having unsatisfying relationships but that won't stop him from trying to find someone like you.

 

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One

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CANCER (June 21 - July 22)

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You want him to feel as if no one cares about him and that while they may listen to his problems, they'll never sympathize with him or show him real concern. You really listened to him and you heard what he was actually saying, not just what you wanted him to hear. Yes, you want him to understand what being in pain and having no one to comfort you feels like.

 

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One

LEO (July 23 - August 22)

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You want him to feel alone and that the people around him are only faking their affection for him. You were the only one who accepted him for who he really was, not his public persona. He could let his guard down with you and be his real self, and he'll never find that with anybody else (at least, that's what you hope). Let him feel the pressure of always having to hide who he really is.

 

Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One

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VIRGO (August 23 - September 22)

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You want him to feel sorry for what he did. It would be nice for him to apologize but you're not counting on it. If he could feel real regret at his actions toward you and even feel some guilt about it, that would make you feel somewhat better. Though the truth is you're putting most of your focus on anything but him.

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo (As Written By A Virgo)

LIBRA (September 23 - October 22)

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You want him to feel as if all the fun went out in the world. You showed him how much joy and delight there is, and without you, you want everything to seem darker and duller. He should feel like a wallflower at the dance of life — partner-less, sweaty, and banished to the bleachers for all eternity. Good luck finding someone as dazzling and amazing as you are.

 

Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One

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SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21)

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You want him to feel regret — not just sorry that the two of you broke up but that kind of anguish and remorse that gets into your bones. In other words, you want him to pay. You want him to regret that he was ever born and that he ever messed with you. You'd like to put him on blast forever. He'll never fully recover from your breakup and you hope he has nightmares about it, too.

 

Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One

SAGITTARIUS (November 22 - December 21)

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You want him to feel stuck and stagnant and clueless about how to change it. His life is boring and routine without you but he just doesn't see any alternatives. You were constantly delighting him with new adventures and discoveries and he'll never have that again. You want him to feel as if he'll never be truly inspired again and that his creativity has dried up. 

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One

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CAPRICORN (December 22 - January 19)

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You want him to feel responsible for what he did. How hard is it to grow up and take responsibility for being a jerk? All you want is for him to own up to his part in the breakup and the things that he did wrong. You're tired of feeling as if it was all your fault (it wasn't) and it would make you feel better if he acted like a mature adult for once.

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One

AQUARIUS (January 20 - February 18)

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You want him to feel that he'll never find anyone as accepting as you. Admittedly, he's not everyone's cup of tea but you enjoyed him for his sometimes bizarre way of looking at the world, his off-kilter ways, and his general nerdiness. You encouraged him to be as weird and out-there as he wanted to be, and you showed him how he could use it to his own advantage. You changed his whole way of seeing himself and became a better person because of it.

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One

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PISCES (February 19 - March 20)

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You want him to feel as if his sense of humor was surgically removed. You're certain that he'll never laugh his ass off because no one is as hysterical and funny as you are. It's not that you want him to be completely depressed, you just want him to be unhappy and not able to see the humor in his life. You don't want him to feel destroyed because that will only make you want to help him, you want him to see the world as less vibrant and grayer now that you're not with him.

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One

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