Photo: TANYA LARA / Shutterstock
Guys have more insecurities than you think.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on May 09, 2023
Many men have a tendency to act macho and overconfident, even if they aren’t exactly the type of guy who should be confident.
Those who are insecure tend to show it by lashing out in anger, being aggressive, and just being jerks.
Most of the time, women will tell you that the one thing guys are most insecure about is their ability to keep women interested in them.
This is true, but they’re insecure about a lot more than just that.
Here are 11 weird things guys are totally insecure about, that you'd never, ever guess:
1. Being able to please women, even in a non-sexual way
Though I have my doubts, my guy friends regularly insist that this is a primary concern of guys. They want to know that they can make a woman happy.
For some, it’s almost their idealized purpose in life. So yes, they want to know that they are good husbands and boyfriends as well as good lovers.
2. Their looks
Do you think girls are bad about looks? Well, yeah, we can be, but so are guys.
I’ve had many guy friends who have begged me for style tips, and hair tips, and even borrowed makeup from me in an effort to impress others with their looks.
3. Their ability to make money is a huge issue
Did you know that most men identify their masculinity by how well they could provide for a woman or themselves? It’s true. For them, their ability to make money is tantamount to being a man.
This is why so many guys want their wives to be stay-at-home moms, and why so many guys are uncomfortable about having a girlfriend that out-earns them.
4. Their personalities
If you take a look at a lot of self-help books for guys, you’ll notice how many guides they have that involve improving their personalities.
This is because they really worry that they’re not as fun or interesting as they think they are.
5. The concept of being a man
If you haven’t already, take a look at the manly self-help sites out there. You’ll notice that one of the simplest, most pervasive themes you’ll find is just learning how to be a man. You won’t see these kinds of guides for women because, well, women understand a million different ways to be a girl.
But the thing is that guys are never really told how to be a man and people often will just assume that they know what that means. As a result, you end up with a lot of guys wondering if they’re actually being a manly man or if they’re being a fraud.
6. Their physique
I’m not even talking about their penis size issue because that’s obvious with most. The fact is that most men really are worried about their actual physique, too.
They worry about being flabby, gaining weight, not being muscular enough, and even not being tall enough. Go figure, right?
7. Not being in control
From personal experience, I can say that there are a lot of men out there who really, truly can’t stand the idea that they can’t control the opposite sex. It’s not fun for me to say this, but it’s true.
Guys are often addicted to the idea that they can control everything, even though control is neither possible nor a healthy thing to aspire to. This is why you see a lot of guys who try to take away women’s rights, try to force women to be with them, and flip out if a woman does something he doesn’t like.
It’s about control and their insecurity about being in a world where they’re not king. Do yourself a favor and don’t try to appease a controller — it’ll only get worse and worse. Leaving is a better option.
8. What women think of them
I can’t name how many guys have recoiled like wounded puppies when I told them exactly how little I trust men to do the right thing or why I no longer want a husband.
Even if they’re not dating the girl in question, most guys still want women to like the male gender. More importantly, guys really worry about what girls think of them in particular. So, take that as you will.
9. Being alone
Even if you’re the classic “flying solo” type, there will be a lot of times when you just wish you could wake up next to someone who has your back no matter what.
Whether they want to admit it or not, most men really, truly do want the “white picket fence” experience at some level or another.
In fact, statistics show that more men now want kids than women. I’ve legitimately seen some men go into a full panic because they can’t get anyone, and it's just one of many things guys are insecure about.
10. What their families think of them
What I’ve noticed with most guys is that they aren’t very insecure about what other men think of them; it’s what girls and their families think of them that clinch it.
If you want to see how big an impact it can be, take a look at how many marriages fell apart due to in-laws, or how many guys end up total messes after they have a divorce and their kids choose to stay with mom.
11. Being popular
Everyone wants to be liked. There’s something biological about our need to feel social approval and status. If you think guys are immune to this need, you’re wrong. We all need friends and we all need love. Too often, we forget about the male gender.
More for You:
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.