A Guy's Guide To Manscaping Like A Sexy Pro

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What Is Manscaping?
Sex

(Psst... Ladies, you might want to pass this on.)

"What is manscaping," you ask? Well, it's the removal or trimming of hair on a man’s body for cosmetic effect.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Men are so rough and tough; they work out, they’re strong, they’re protective …

Where is the part where they’re standing in front of the mirror before going out?

You know, doing their hair and trying to decide what cologne to wear, while changing their outfit more times than Padme Amidala's hairstyles in Star Wars Episodes I, II and III combined.

What I’m getting at is that men care about what they look like. They want to exude confidence, that manly essence that they think women is super sexy and so desperately want in a partner, mate, boyfriend, fiancé, or husband.

You know what’s not manly? Admitting or talking about manscaping.

Women Don’t Want A ‘Ball Fro’

First off, before we get too far and I lose all my credibility, I’m a man. A gun toting, sports watching, hunting, cooking (… mostly BBQing), fitness-focused, beer drinking, woman loving man. Like other men, I love women and I love sex. Women also happen to love me, so I’ve got some experience.

Now, I’m not saying that I’m Tiger Woods or anything (let’s be honest, that dude has buried more bones than Lassie).

However, I do consider myself to be fairly knowledgeable about what women want — and furthermore giving them what they want without "sacrificing" my manhood.

So let’s get down to it.

Manscaping can be done in so many different ways. Everyone has their own style and, in my opinion, there is no perfect way. Just don’t be the barbarian. No woman wants to bury her face in your “Ball Fro” or feel like there’s a cushion around your dick while the two of you are having sex.

You also don’t want to be “that guy” who is littering her toilet or shower with your 3-inch pubes. She knows where those are coming from, and she doesn’t appreciate the reminder that you didn’t take the time to groom yourself when you expect her to be well groomed, shaved, or even waxed.

So, maybe you’re new to this and, even though we don’t like to admit it, there is a first time for every single thing we ever do in our life. Start off with the training wheels … don’t just jump on a unicycle and start juggling chainsaws in the middle of Times Square.

Although if you did do that, it would be pretty bad ass.

Work the Steps

Step One: Grab your beard trimmer. Cut that forest down to a nicely groomed fairway. Trust me, she will appreciate it.

But what’s next? She wants more! Is there a book of styles? Do I need to get a stencil in order to make my pubes look like a heart, maple leaf, or the Bat symbol (If she’s into that kind of stuff)?

 

Related: What I Learned About Myself (And My Vagina) From Going Commando For A Year

 

Step Two: So you’re feeling ballsy. Literally. You broke out the Gillette Fusion Mach 5 and you’re ready to attempt the shave. This is where the “Pucker Factor” happens.

Be careful, lather up with the shaving cream, and TAKE YOUR TIME!!!

When you get done, you will feel like a brand new man: so soft, so proud of what you’ve done, a baby’s bottom has nothing on your smooth sack.

Then a couple days pass … and here is where my issue with shaving begins. The hair starts growing back in, you’re at the gym and you are itchy, the little hairs are poking through the skin. Your skin will become irritated, and those ingrown hairs are painful and unsightly. To me, it is not fun at all. A lot of work for one night of smooth skin, and then nothing but irritation and a ton of baby powder.

Get your Costco membership and buy that crap in bulk because you’re going to need it!

 

Related: Why Men's Sex Toys Are AWESOME — And How To Find The PERFECT Fit For Your Man

 

Step Three: You finally manned up; you made an appointment and you’re going to check out waxing. Someone who is trained in hair removal is going to help you out. This is where it’s at.

via GIPHY

Instead of cutting the hair with a razor, you are pulling the hair follicle out, this means that it lasts MUCH longer and, when it does grow in, it is a brand new hair. It doesn’t feel like the stubble that is scratching your skin and constantly making you itch.

When you’re working out and sweating, you don’t get that burning sensation or any of the irritation that happens from razor burn and stubble coming in. Perfection.

MEN: Grow up and go get it done.

Do yourself and your significant other a favor. When your manscaping is done right, it is the difference between a day at Pebble Beach and one at the local links course that used to be a farm for you and her.

Welcome to the world of smooth balls and manscaping done right.

 

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This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.