5 Funny Erotic Stories Involving Sex With Dinosaurs, Unicorns, Paperclips & More

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unicorn erotica
Sex

Rule 34, y'all!

Let's talk for a minute about Rule 34.

If you're unfamiliar, Rule 34 simply states that if something exists, there is probably porn for it, and let me tell you friends, in my brief 33 years on this planet, I have indeed seen a lot of stuff, and I have then in turn seen that stuff turned into porn or erotica. 

Erotic stories are nothing new. They are everywhere. If you are a fan of a TV show or a celebrity a quick Google search will direct you to fan-written erotic stories that will leave you in a breathless daze over what it would be like to have your pussy consumed by master chef Guy Fieri. 

Thank to the internet, it is easier than ever to find erotic stories that speak to your particular sexual interests. 

Even if that sexual interest is in digital assistants or a gay billionaire dinosaur. 

Yeah. That's right.

You heard me.

I've rounded up 5 erotic stories that prove that nothing is so weird that you can't turn it into sexy, sexy literotica. 

Sure, on the surface "unicorn butt cops" might sound ridiculous but hey, if it's helping someone have a bangarang orgasm, more power to them. 

 

These 5 erotic stories will help you believe that when it comes to your sexual imagination nothing is off limits. 

1. Conquered by Clippy

Amazon

You know that annoying paper clip that pops up whenever you're using Microsoft Office? Well he's here to help you...SEXUALLY. 

Since he is a paperclip, Clippy does not have a penis. He does, however, have...a hard piece of metal that he is aching to ram your vagina with — ouch! 

That's right, in Conquered by Clippy the affable animated paperclip goes above and beyond the call of duty to please his mistress. 

 

 

2. A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay 

Amazon

John wants to make it on Wall Street, but in order to dominate the market that means letting his boss dominate him.

And also his boss is a sexually violent billionaire dinosaur. 

I mean, do I have to even say anything else?

 

 

 

3. My RoboHound Took Me

Amazon

Jennifer is a mechanical technician (because of course she is) responsible for the care upkeep of this robotic dog.

Needless to say after one wild night and too much champagne, Jennifer notices that her RoboHound has an impressive penis and all bets are off (because of course they are).

 

 

4. Taken By The Lightening Bolt 

Amazon

In this book, a man is literally forced to have sex with a bolt of lightening. How does he survive? How did consent? Does weather have powers?

I cannot promise you that this book will answer any of these questions, but I can promise you that lightening sex fetishes are apparently a thing. 

 

 

5. Unicorn Butt Cops: Beach Patrol

Amazon

Jeff has always been a loner. He's living life on the streets desperate for a meal so he steals a carnitas taco. Why Mr. Tingle felt the need to specify the type of taco Jeff stole remains unclear to me.

Regardless, this lands Jeff in trouble with the Unicorn butt police who will let him go free only once they've had their unicorn butt cop way with him. Jury's still out on what exactly that means, but I'm pretty sure it involves a lot of butt stuff.