Watch A Woman Use A Dildo To Fix Her Car (For Real)

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sex toys uses
Sex

Plus: Other clever uses for sex toys (besides the obvious).

You guys ready for some pretty stellar sex toys news? I know you are! I can feel the energy reverberating through my screen and I am INTO IT. 

So here it goes! 

A woman has gone viral for a tweet she posted. That's not news, right? Bitches be posting mad tweets that go viral daily, amiright? 

Well, this particular tweet featured a video of her using a black dildo to get a dent out of a car. 

If you have not seen it, I've done you the kind service of putting it below for your edification. 

How. Awesome. Was. That

Me, I am all about sex toys that do double-duty. Usually, this just means I want sex toys that I can use in my vagina and also in my anus, but this woman is thinking big picture thoughts when it comes to sex toys uses and I am in full support of her moxie and her general devil may care attitude regarding unorthodox sex toys uses.

Being who I am (a pervert who talks about sex on the internet for dollars) this got me to thinking about other less-typical sex toys uses! I've compiled a list of my favorites for your edification. Hopefully, they will inspire you to come up with some unusual sex toys uses of your own. 

Or you can just keep using your sex toys as sex toys, live your life, boo! 

 

1. Cock as caulk 

If you're anything like me, you've got a lot of holes in your walls.

This isn't because you are some sort of rage machine, it's because when it comes to hanging pictures of photographs, you would much rather hammer in a nail and call it a day rather than "use a stud finder and NOT destroy your wall", like some sort of chump.

If you have mammoth unsightly holes in your walls, simply plug them with sex toys! Slim vibes, or big thick dildos, it all depends on the size of the hole.

...

Which is also what she said (sorry had to).

 

2. Dick as door stopper 

I hate hate hate those rubber circles that are supposed to protect your door from hitting the wall behind it. 

They almost never work, leaving a small rubber indent on your wall instead of a full door-shaped hole. 

And that's when they work! When they don't, they go flying, and if you're me, your cat decides to ingest it and you've got to watch his butthole FOR LITERAL DAYS just to make sure that he does not die. 

May I suggest putting a dildo OVER your metal stopper? 

Rubber dildos aren't going to leave a mark, leaving your wall nice and unscathed. 

Plus it's a great conversation piece! 

 

3. Dongs as tongs 

I am ALWAYS missing at least one salad tong. I look around frantically for the other one and inevitably wind up just panicking and using one tong and maybe a chopstick I found in my junk drawer. 

It doesn't have to be this way! 

A pair of sturdy, vinyl dongs can easily grasp even the most stubborn and slippery piece of well-dressed arugula.

It's the dinner party detail that will leave all of your guests talking.  

 

4. Vibrator as entertainer (it's near rhyme, I'll admit that, but go with me on this) 

Because I work as a sex writer, I am forever being mailed bullet vibrators

Bullet vibes are great, and I often recommend them to women who are just starting down the wonderful road of masturbation.

That said, they aren't really my bag. 

But you know who loves them? 

My mother-loving cat, Batman. 

Draw a mouse face on that bullet and let it rip, I guarantee you that your cat will be occupied for at least a full week. 

 

5. Lashes as sashes 

The objects that take up the most room in my sex drawers (it used to be one, but those days are long gone) are whips and lashes commonly used in the BDSM kink community. 

I love them, buy with all their various long tails and bits of suede they take up room, they can't help.

In order for me to keep something in my house that is that irksome, it better serve double duty. 

Some of the more lightweight whips or lashes I can definitely use as a tasteful belt on a t-shirt dress.

Accessorizing with kink, what's not to love, I ask you?