10 Things People Don't Tell You About Dating Someone 100 Lbs Heavier Than You

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The weighty secret about dating someone bigger than you.

Recently, I had started seeing a guy by the name of Jason. I like him a lot. In many ways, we do what a lot of couples do. We have sex. We cook for one another. We watch movies together, hit up restaurants together, and take trips together. We date. Due to circumstances on my end, though, we can’t make things official. Even so, we’re happy.

It sounds great, right? Well, I think it’s great, and so does Jason. It might be the best relationship either of us has ever had.

But, there’s one thing that makes dating a lot more difficult for the two of us: he’s 100 pounds heavier than me. Personally, I don’t care that he’s bigger as he treats me very well. However, there’s a lot that I didn’t expect to happen when I started dating Jason.

Here’s the brutal truth about dating someone overweight.

1. People don’t believe you really like him, or that you’re really dating him.

When I first began seeing him, I showed people a photograph of the two of us. Some people smiled and congratulated me on us linking up like that. Other people, however, looked at me and asked if “he had a lot of money” or if I “was really that desperate.” That hurts.

2. “Friends” may try to set you up with someone who’s more conventionally attractive.

Only one of my now-former friends had the nerve to do this, and they’re no longer my friend because of that.

3. Others may try to “poach” the thinner partner, sometimes even right in front of the heavier person.

It’s appalling, but it’s true and people are very brazen about it. I have had moments where people have approached us asking me if I wanted to have sex with them, just because they didn’t believe that I could possibly be attracted to my boyfriend. When this happened the first time, I actually was so shocked that I got up from my seat and walked away without a word. Jason, thankfully, was classy enough to leave with me without smacking that guy across the face.

4. You get stares no matter where you go.

We can’t really go anywhere without people staring at the two of us. I’m no stick figure, but I’m slightly lower than the national average size. He, on the other hand, is way larger. I don’t see why people have to gawk at us like we’re some sort of circus freak couple; we’re just two regular people having fun together.

5. Once in a while, you’ll get people who are thrilled to see you two together, and that’s awesome.

There are a lot of total strangers who have seen the two of us together that just stopped to say how nice it is to see a couple so happy together. To a point, this reminds me that not all people are shallow assholes who judge couples by their looks.

6. People seem to have no problem joking about your partner’s weight, not realizing it offends you, too.

I legitimately want to know why people think it’s okay to joke about my boyfriend breaking chairs in front of me. This isn’t funny, and speaking as someone who used to be fat, it makes me very uncomfortable being around them knowing that’s how they see heavier people.

7. People you rejected in the past can’t seem to cope with it at times.

One of the guys who I rejected basically went ballistic when he heard about me and Jason. I know this because we accidentally ran into one another while on a date. I believe his words were, “You’d have sex with that fatass before me? What the f*ck is wrong with you?” He didn’t seem to register that the reason I said no to him was his personality.

8. A surprising amount of people tend to ask how sex tends to be between you two.

It’s good. There, I solved the mystery for you. It’s actually really good and he’s an attentive lover. Surprising, right?

9. People are shocked to see us working out at the gym together and losing weight together.

Yes, my boyfriend is almost 300 pounds. Yes, I am a muscular and tall 180. Yes, we’ve both lost some weight since we started talking. Yes, we like to lift weights together. Deal with it.

10. Most people, though, are polite about it.

Thankfully, the vast majority of people are aware that being mean and rude aren’t ways to make anyone feel good, so, for the most part, it doesn’t shake either of us. 

 

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