How To Give A Guy A Boner Without Even Touching Him

Photo: WeHeartIt
boner touch
Sex

Yup. You heard us.

If you are a straight woman wondering how to give a guy a boner, I have good news for you.

It is very, very, very easy.

In fact, even as I am typing this and you are reading it, there are dozens, hundreds even, of desperate men whose penises are riddled with boners!

For some men, the answer to how to give a guy a boner is as simple as "look at him" or "have him ride a bus."

For other men, the answer to how to give a guy a boner is a little more complicated but usually still ends with "put your mouth on his penis."

The real challenge (penis-wise) is figuring out how to give a guy a boner ... without laying a finger on him!

It can be done, and I've got some surefire tactics for you to try below! 

Godspeed, and happy penis-stiffening to you all.

 

1. One word: cleavage. 

Look, guys love boobs

Do some guys prefer butts to boobs? Sure. 

But you know who is going to complain when you wear a low-cut top and make sure he's getting prime optics on 'em? 

Not one single straight man on planet Earth. 

If you can, go braless is a shirt that is ever so slightly see-through.

Nothing excites a penis quite the way an illicit nip slip does, and you can take that to the bank! 

 

 

2. Invite him to watch you shower. 

You might be noticing a trend here. The trend is be naked but don't let him touch you and don't you touch him.

To be clear, this has got to be a "sexy" shower, not a "mama's gotta shave her toes again" shower. Don't pretend you don't know exactly what I mean, either. 

The key here is to be standing at a flattering angle as water cascades over your naked body and you fondle yourself.

It's less about hygiene and more about becoming living porn. 

 

3. Let him "catch you" masturbating. 

This is hot for multiple reasons, for one, you get to have an orgasm while giving him a boner. 

The second reason this is hot is because it's a pretty common scenario in porn: girl masturbates, girl gets caught masturbating, guy fucks girls for making him horny. 

It's not exactly, you know, evolved, but it's hot as hell and an almost guaranteed boner.

Just, you know, make sure it's your dude who catches you and not like, your super. 

 

4. Whisper your dirtiest fantasies in his ear. 

First of all, guys get chills when a woman whispers in their ear. It's just biology.

Those chills will rapidly turn into boners when you start telling him all of the things you want him to do to you.

That boner will become as eternal as the Washington Monument if you also let him know about all of the girls you want to have sex with ... alongside him! 

 

 

5. Perform a sexy striptease. 

Annnnnd we're back to getting naked. 

Not all of us are born dancers (hi, hello, I cannot move my legs in a manner that is attractive or beguiling) that's why I gave other options.

But if you ARE a dancer and you have a booty that won't quit, become his private dancer.

Bonus points, because you aren't actually a stripper and he isn't a client so it isn't gross if he pops a boner and begs you to touch it.

 

Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
Contributor