“TIFU by having a pierced penis.”
That's is the title of the super embarrassing story shared by one Reddit user on the popular board 'Dear Reddit, Today I F*cked Up' about his Tinder date that went horribly wrong — thanks to his penis piercing.
Sounds pretty stupid to us too, dude.
On his Reddit post, the man begins to explain all about his ill-timed piercing and his disgusting "second pee hole."
"Specifically, a Prince Albert which goes through the urethra and out the base of the head of the penis. Kinda like a nose ring in your talleywhacker. Sorta. I self performed this piercing many many moons ago when I was in high school. I was not normal. I have to say though, it did get me some curiosity loving on two occasions. This was not a large ring as PA’s go but PA’s tend to be insanely large. Mine was an 8ga. The novelty wore off after a few years and I took it out. The hole never grew up. Never will. I have an 1/8 in extra hole on the head of my penis. I have to plug the hole to pee or sit down. I sit. Mistakes are TERRIBLE as I can urinate straight backward."
That is so gross!!!
Naturally, you're probably beginning to understand how and why his sexcapade went really, really wrong.
Thursday night, I had a Tinder “date” and because /r/iamverybadass we ended up at her apartment. (heavy sarcasm). She just needed a lay the same as me. Now, being the romantical type that I certainly am (and having been too drunk and leaving my car at the bar) I didn’t immediately dash out on m’lady. I woke at around 3 and proceeded to answer the other call of nature. Now, at this point I can make any number of excuses: it was cold, I’m a grower not a show-er, fear of toilet lobsters…whatever. Fact is my dingaling was more “ding” no “aling” and was shriveled like a stack of dimes.
"I retire to the nest of our passion and go back to sleep to be awakened by a bump and a shout. I jumped up and ran in and this poor woman is legs up on her back giggity in a puddle of my hours old urine. My shriveled winkie didn’t have any dangle and I urinated straight out the front of the toilet and had no clue."
SHE SLIPPED AND FELL IN HIS PEE!
Like, can you imagine?! I have no words other than WTF and DOES THIS REALLY HAPPEN TO PEOPLE?
But wait ... it gets worse.
No really, worse than being covered in someone else urine!
"It gets better. She is injured. This nice lady, who just wanted to get off (one upside is she did now like a turtle on her back in a strange man’s urine in her own home. Urine that she thinks is water from a leaky toilet. Really, would you have corrected her? Anyway, I just dropped her back off at home from the hospital. She had only a minor rotator. I know full well though that she will ... probably already has ... find out what that was. Stand by for update."
I really feel for this guy. How do you come back from something like this?
You can read the full text for yourself below:
If any guys are reading this, do me a favor and DO NOT PIERCE YOUR PENIS!
Clearly, it isn't a good idea.