I Tried 3 Absolutely BIZARRE Blowjob Tricks With Food (So You Don't Have To!)

Adding food into your bedroom routine could be a recipe for fun ... or disaster.

Is whipped cream really that hot to lick off? Do pop rocks really feel that good? And what about that absolutely insane-seeming grapefruit blowjob method? 

I road-tested three popular blowjob techniques involving food ... so you don’t have to.

1. The Whipped Cream Blowjob

The first time I tried whipped cream in a can for oral sex, I was living in a residential dorm at my university. I didn’t want my neighbors to hear the shaking and emitting of the cream, so I went to the bathroom and poured it out onto a plate. This turned out to be an even worse idea because I got busted big time!

When I recently tried whipped cream again, my partner didn't like it because he said the cream was too cold on his penis. Cold temperature is the enemy of an erection. The cream itself was fun to lick off but it was unsuccessful in getting him in the mood.

RELATED: How To Give A Handjob That Will Make Him Forget You Even Have A Mouth

2. The Pop Rocks Blowjob

Pop Rocks is a flavored candy which releases carbon when the pebbles touch your tongue, causing that popping and crackling sensation they’re famous for.

Using popping candy when performing a blow job was not really pleasant for my guy though. He said it felt like sand was rubbing against his penis! Needless to say, they did NOT get his rocks off.

RELATED: How To Give Your Man The Safe & Sexy Rim Job He's Been DYING For

3. The Grapefruit Blowjob

We also tried the infamous grapefruit blowjob technique. If you haven’t seen the grapefruit video by Denise Walker, aka Auntie Angel (a Chicago-based sex educator), it’s memorable. I made the mistake of telling my partner about it, so he knew what was coming.

The grapefruit was easy to cut a hole in and place over his member. However, I’m not a huge fan of the taste of grapefruit, and I’m confident a large orange would be more pleasant.

During the act, the grapefruit flesh went everywhere and started to disintegrate. It made a huge mess, which we had to clean up before we got down to business. The grapefruit was harmless fun and provided lots of giggles, but I probably wouldn’t bother trying it again.

My Overall Takeaway

As with all sex advice, perhaps these blowjob tricks will rock your world and that’s cool — different strokes for different folks. 

The biggest problem with sweet sugary food is that can encourage a yeast infection, so wash your body thoroughly afterward.

My partner and I found that perhaps you shouldn’t eat food in the bedroom after all ... because it might just leave crumbs (or grapefruit pulp) in your bed!

More smart and sexy content from Slutty Girl Problems:

• The 10 Steps to Giving Head
• The Beginner’s Guide to Foreplay

This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.