7 Ways Giving A Blowjob Is JUST Like Wine Tasting

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They're both an acquired taste.

You can down it, gulp it, or barely taste it to the point that it doesn't matter if it's swill or something that a sommelier would swoon for. Or you can really drink it, enjoy it, and become a connoisseur.

Yes, we were talking about wine, but the same goes for oral sex. You can do it well enough to get by and get the job done with no regard for quality, or you can get really good at it, hone your skill and become someone who others can't get enough of. Here are 7 ways giving oral sex is just like a wine tasting.

1. You practice your skills.

If you want to become a sommelier-quality master at oral sex, then you need to practice your skills just like a wine connoisseur would.

"Regardless of if you have a taste for women or men, your focus, deliberate and detailed attention and actions are just as peaked and on point. Don't just go in there like a bull in a china shop. Your goal is not to get in and out; your goal is to get in, take your time, enjoy the taste and feel and escalate the excitement," says dating expert Laurel House.

2. You start off slowly.

"Start with your tongue, then fold your mouth around their skin, taking them in with each deep breath. Slowly circle your tongue along their skin as your whole mouth sucks them in," says House. This is the best way to taste wine as well.

3. The flavor depends on the age.

"More than techniques, there are certain flavor profiles for men and women, and each actually pairs with a different variety of wine and champagne. Just as someone might say that wine tastes like wine until they slow down and pay attention to the nuances, same goes for p*ssy and semen.

Of the flavor profiles, there is a good and a bad for each depending on the time of the month (for women), age, health, hair color, and diet. Specifically, women are one of the following flavor profiles: baby lamb's breath (gamey), tree moss (grassy), citrus (lemony), shellfish (fishy)," says House.

4. The food you eat determines a successful pairing.

Just as we may enjoy red wine with chocolate, we may discover that our partner tastes a lot better when they have just eaten something sweet, but not so good when they have just had something with garlic. And the kind of wine you're drinking should complement the food you're eating.

5. It's an acquired taste.

You probably remember the first time you tried wine or coffee. You may not have loved it quite as much as you love it now. But as time went on, you began to associate that taste with the stimulation or buzz it created, and then you wanted more and more of it. The taste of his semen will work very much the same way over time.

6. You either spit or swallow.

Come on, this is an easy one! There are some people who go to wine tastings and will spit out that delicious wine after swishing it around their mouth. Others will love and relish every drop and insist on swallowing. Oral sex is exactly the same way.

7. It's sexy.

Whether we're talking about a sultry red or a sultry redhead going down on a guy, it's sexy as hell. 

 

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