Sex

Marijuana Chocolate Promises To Make You Horny ... But WHY?

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pot sex chocolate

Do you love sex, chocolate, and marijuana? 

Congratulations! You are a human being. 

Not only are you a human being, you're the exact type of human being the company 1906 has set their sites on selling their new, horny-making, marijuana-infused chocolate to! 

I know. It's a great day to be alive ... and an even better day to be stoned, stuffed full of chocolate and looking for your nearest sex toy. 

1906's newest product is called is called High Love (because of course it is) and comes in a 6-pack. 

1906

According to their press materials, it contains Muira Puama Yohimbe, a natural aphrodisiac from west Africa, and Damiana, an ancient Aztec favorite. 

How these people know what the Aztecs were really into, is anyone's guess. 

So there you have it, horny-making weed chocolate. 

Now has come the time where we must ask ourselves the most difficult question: does the world (and for the matter, the vaginas of the world) really need weed chocolate to make us horny, horny beasts?

I think the answer is no. 

I think we, as a nation of people who love sex — and who love chocolate, and who love marijuana — have flown, much like Icarus, too close to the sun. 

Sex and pot and chocolate are all wonderful things, they are delightful indulgences, they have healing properties, they literally create life.

But each on its own is so friggin' powerful, why do we feel the need to sully them by blending them? 

Aren't they each good enough on their own?

I like to keep my chocolate time separate from my pot time, and my pot time separate from my sex time, not because I'm some sort of ridiculous sexual purist, but because I have learned from history the dangers in such excesses. 

Look at ancient Rome! Those people had literal ROOMS designated to vomiting when they ate too much food!

They took their own lives by ingesting leaves of gold! That shit is bananas! 

If that doesn't convince you, look at the ancient Romans of today: toddlers. 

If you give a toddler an entire birthday cake he will eat it, and yes, for a moment, he will see the face of god. But then, oh god then, the puking, and the sugar crashing and the awful of it all! 

Do not gild your lily. It's fine as it is. If you want to have sex, have it.

If you want a chocolate bar, by all means, indulge. If you want to, puff puff pass, by all means, who am I to stop you?

But for the love of god, do not cross your streams. 

Therein lies only madness, and only destruction.