There Is Now Lipstick For Your Vagina ...

Photo: WeHeartIt
Self

But why??

I love lipstick. I understand, as a staunch feminist, that I do not have to wear anything on my face to try and get a man or to make a man like me more or even to impress my fellow women. But that doesn't mean I won't smear a bright pink matte lipstick onto my mouth if it makes me look smokin'. 

But here is where I draw the line: 

Vagina lipstick. 

*Pauses to flip over desk, scream like a banshee, and fling anything near me that is remotely flingable.* 

May I introduce you to the cause of my violence, VMagic, a self-advertised, "lipstick for your vagina" that promises to soothe, smooth, and otherwise beautify your vagina lips. 

"Because your other lips need love too."

VMagic

Yes, sure, from like, a penis or a cleaned finger or sex toy sure. BUT NOT FROM A TUBE OF LIPSTICK SMEARED ONTO YOUR NETHERS, PEOPLE. 

Their uber-moisturizing ingredients include organic olive oil, avocado oil, beeswax, and honey. 

All ingredients that are wonderful either in candles, on salads, or in a jar that you give to a bear in the forest, but not so great on your vagina. 

You guys, please don't put lipstick on your vaginas, or, for that matter and more specifically, on your vulvas. 

The things I find myself saying I cannot even handle sometimes. 

Are the ingredients that VMagic schilling top of the line, high quality and all things fine and fancy? 

Sure.

But are they also a great way to give yourself the mother of all yeast infections

Yes. Yes, they are. 

VMagic

From what I can glean on the website, this product is designed for strictly external use, which, thank god. That said, smearing vagina moisturizer on your labia doesn't mean it's going to STAY on your labia.

If you are getting a dry pubis, cut back on soap and make sure you're wearing breathable underwear and maybe lay off the blue jeans on colder days. 

But if your pubis is so dry that you are looking up specialty vagina moisturizers, I would definitely say call your doctor. There is no reason for you to be suffering, all my disdain for this product aside.

Yeah, it's a tad embarrassing, but I would rather talk to my doctor about my dry pubis than explain that I gave myself the yeast infection to end all yeast infections because I bought and used vagina for my lipstick. 

 

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