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Some men are so in love that nothing could make them want to stray.
By Aly Walansky — Last updated on Oct 17, 2023
We'd like to think the guy we are with will never, ever cheat on us. But the truth is, sometimes they do.
Sometimes guys cheat on us, and sometimes they cheat with us. But ultimately, a lot of men cheat and it would be awesome to understand why and how he gets to that spot where he finds that option to be acceptable.
Turns out, though, there are many reasons why men cheat.
"When the communication lines are closed or when a guy doesn't feel his needs, desires or wants are not being heard, there is a tendency to look elsewhere," one man shared. "For me, the key to a passionate and long-lasting relationship is communication. Where each person can be heard and share feelings, concerns, and desires without judgment. A relationship that can be open to sharing new experiences. Keep things playful, instilling a sense of variety and not just doing it out of duty," another confided.
The key is to do many things together as a couple but still allow some space to see friends and not be suffocating. Just like a woman, a man wants to feel desired.
So, why do men decide to never cheat? We asked a bunch of men to share why. And they held nothing back.
Here 9 honest men explain what makes them never want to cheat:
1. It's how you were raised
"This is upbringing. I was the son of a minister who doubled as the town’s marriage counselor. I would sneak into the basement where my dad’s office was to hear how cheating was ruining families and lives. I swore at age 12 I would never do it and I never have."
2. When she loves you for who you are, you don't need to stray
"It is not just about being intimate. Yeah, good intimacy helps. But taking a guy for who and what he is, is the bigger part of that. No guy wants to be with someone who sees him as a fixer-upper who you are constantly being told to change. Find a girl who accepts you for you and you will never have a cheater."
3. It's too expensive to cheat
"Honestly? It's cheaper to keep her than to lose her and have to find another."
4. Overwhelming anxiety isn’t sexy
"Every time my mind starts to fantasize about how exhilarating it would be to have some illicit encounter with a strange woman, it almost immediately gets smacked down by a metric ton of sweaty-palmed anxiety. And it’s not just fear of getting caught. Almost every aspect of the idea makes my stomach lurch — having to keep my lies straight, having to start a relationship with someone new, imagining the reaction of my family and friends (and wife) if it ever came out. There’s just no chance that the intimacy could ever be good enough to compensate for how unsexy and anxious every other aspect of the scenario would be for me."
5. I don't want to be immune to remorse
"There's not a high quite like getting naked and being with someone new for the first time. Maybe the giddy anticipation of the moment. The combination of pride that something is right enough with you that some stranger wants you, this-is-really-happening novelty, and animal lust creates a narcotic cocktail. However, there are three consequences: you're caught, you're wracked with guilt, and nothing. It would be the worst outcome of them all to discover that you're immune to remorse about being unfaithful. I wouldn't want to find that out about myself and I sure as heck don't want to be caught."
6. I'd rather just pay attention and be considerate toward my partner
"It doesn't take that much to pay 5 minutes of attention to your partner. To randomly touch the small of their back or neck as you pass in the kitchen, to make a cocktail (or just open a bottle of wine) while your partner is cooking. Even if you're in the midst of doing your own thing that the person you're sharing your life with enters into your thoughts a few times over the course of the day, it isn't really too much."
7. I don't want to be with anyone else
"It sounds cheesy but (even though it ended for other reasons) when I was with the ex for three years, I wasn't interested in anyone else."
8. I cherish what I have
"The satisfaction of being intimate with someone other than your partner is fleeting. If you have kids you need to think about what example you are setting for them. Value the life you are having. Resolve the issues that make you want to cheat. Loving someone fully can make the intimacy so much more passionate and fulfilling as opposed to a slam bam thank you, ma'am."
9. The fallout is just not worth it
"Intimacy is great. Like, the best thing you can do. Particularly the best thing you can do for free (generally). However, if you can set aside the emotional aspects, it's only really different incrementally with a different partner. She may be looser, more game for experimentation, less skilled, prettier, and smell newer than your one and only, but mechanically it's pretty much the same. I can't see anything that remotely approaches making the downside worthwhile. I know, I'm a romantic."
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Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyle writer. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly.