Because NOBODY'S better at writing Donald Trump poems than Donald Trump.
Truthfully, every president has had their share of missteps. Remember the days when we all mocked George W. Bush when he would say silly things? *sigh* I miss good old W. Anyway …
And as we all know by now, Donald Trump has a ... way ... with words.
First during Trump’s presidential campaign and now a few short months into his current presidency, Trump has spoken freely and loudly with his New York accent and grandiosity in a way which can be described as rough around the edges and bizarre, to say the very least.
You might love or hate Barack Obama, but he did always gave the most eloquent speeches and answered questions with grace and intelligence. But President Donald J. Trump??
Well, word has it that there's a whole big list of things Donald Trump believes "nobody does better than" Donald Trump!
Apparently, that list was missing at least one major item — turning Donald Trump quotes into poetry!
And to prove it, an anonymous person (THANK YOU ANONYMOUS PERSON!) has created a Facebook page — "Donald Trump, Modernist poet" — on which Trump's very own words have been turned into works of literary art ...
Or something like that.
Each post includes either a photo of Trump and his motley crew or a tranquil scene (a la Jack Handey's "Deep Thoughts") and layers on top of the tableau both a poetic title and a direct quote from President Trump. In fact, when reached for a comment, the mad scientist behind the page's invention said only this:
"I wish I could take credit, but that's all the genius of DT."
SPOILER ALERT: Making something a poem doesn’t change the intent behind the words!
And frankly, that's exactly the point of the page.
The format of these poems is also funny, but these poems are different.
They scare me. These words were said by the person who is supposed to protect our country — protect me, protect my son, protect YOU.
Many of them read as complete and utter nonsense, but what’s even scarier to me is that there is an entire group of voters and supporters out there who think these words and statements are perfectly OK. That the things that come out of Trump’s mouth are brave, insightful, and full of fresh ideas.
In reality, the current administration seems to be a bit of a mess and we need to take what’s going on seriously. Which is exactly what the political satire behind these Donald Trump quotes turned poetry is meant to bring to the forefront of our collective consciousness.
Oh, and Donald Trump, Modernist Poet is also on Twitter, of course. Because Trump likes tweeting. BIGLY.
Here are 10 of Trump's best memes of absurdist poetry that will surely make you laugh ... or cry. Or both.
May the odds be ever in our favor.
"What separates the winners from losers is how a person reacts to each new twist of fate."
"You know, it really doesn't matter what the media write as long as you've got a young, and beautiful piece of ass."
"Do you mind if I sit back a little? Because your breath is very bad. It really is."
"For too long, we've traded away our jobs to other countries."
"Sorry losers and haters but my I.Q. is one of the highest and you all know it. Please don't feel so stupid or insecure. It's not your fault."
'I will build a great wall and nobody builds walls better than me. Believe me. And I'll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border and I will make Mexico pay for that wall.'
"See how beautiful my hands are. Look at these hands. Those are powerful hands. They can hit a golf ball 285 yards."
"She does have a very nice figure. I've said that if Ivanka weren't my daughter, perhaps I would be dating her."
"I'm automatically attracted to beautiful. I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the p*ssy. You can do anything."
"Will he become my new best friend?"
"They fill up our alleys with people that you wonder how did they get there, but they are the Republican people our that representatives are representing."