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What would you do if it was your child?
By PopSugar — Last updated on Mar 09, 2023
Most parents think their kids are amazing and, if not perfect, at least pretty great little people. However, according to the National Center For Educational Statistics, as of 2016, more than one in every five kids reports being bullied — which means that not every child is as nice as their parents would like to believe.
As schools work to crack down on this major issue, some moms and dads have been confronted with the upsetting news that that their perception of their child is wrong. Although some may dismiss the reports, struggle to believe them, or feel at a loss for what to do, others actually feel relieved to know so they can do something about it.
Several parents opened up on Reddit to reveal what it felt like during that moment when they first learned their kid was another child's bully. Their responses ranged from gratitude to disappointment to relief.
What parents on Reddit say it felt like to find out their child is the bully
1. "I will tell you that I was strangely grateful my daughter was the bully and not the victim — but probably for a different reason than you would expect..."
"Because she was the bully, I could correct the issue. I can't control someone else's kid when I'm not around."
2. "She is usually the most kind-hearted kid I know. I couldn't believe she participated in such a thing..."
"When she got home I asked her if this girl who she drew pictures of was her friend, when she said yes. I said well do you think her mum will want to let her come over and play with you after you drew pictures of her like that? Shamefully she said no, that she wouldn't blame her for not wanting to let her. At first I thought she was upset cause she knew I'd be pissed and she would be in trouble but at the end of it I think she realised that it was not okay."
3. "I felt like a walking piece of s--- who wouldn't protect my own son or let him protect himself..."
"Mine didn't go so hot. 6 year old son got in trouble a few day in a row on the bus home from school to daycare. He was acting up a bit, and the teacher said he was being aggressive and screaming at a kid. She said it was out of character though and got a timeout and was all good. Next day he pinched a 4k girl hard, made her cry. I sat him down, he blamed this other kid saying he made him do it, same kid he was screaming at the day before. I was upset with him, took away all his star wars toys said he'd get one toy back every day he was good and one would go on the garbage if I got a bad report. Also made him apologize to the girl. He loves star wars more than anything.
"After about a month of good reports he had earned all his toys back. I come to find out the other little shit who told him to pinch the girl had been bullying him pretty bad and gave him a bloody lip. He didn't tell me or the teacher or defend himself because he was afraid of getting into trouble and not getting a toy back that day. Talked to my son and found out the other boy (who is 2 years older and always getting in trouble) would pinch him, calI him ugly and stupid on the play ground and say he was going to kill him all the time. I felt like a walking piece of s--- who wouldn't protect my own son or let him protect himself.
"I know there are a lot of kids out there who do bully, but maybe don't rush in before hearing the kid out, especially if you've never had problems with them before."
4. "I was not amused..."
"My teenage boys were driving past an apartment building yelling at kids. They were being [jerks]. I would not have known if someone hadn't posted about it in the town's Facebook page. I privately messaged the mum of the child they were shouting at. I then drove them to the building and made them apologise, in front of his parents and grandmother. They were unable to go to town without adult supervision for a few weeks. I was not amused."
5. "I was really disappointed and upset..."
"My daughter is 4 and a half. Last week her teacher talked to her in front of me about spitting on a little girl. We have been having a lot of discussions about respect lately so I was really disappointed and upset."
6. "I was thankful..."
"In kindergarten, my daughter's teacher approached me after school one day when I was picking her up. She said how normally my kid was helpful and fun, etc. But today she seemed distant and kicked another child during a colouring. I told the teacher that her mum and I had just separated and that I was thankful for her telling me."
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Lauren Levy is the former assistant editor of PopSugar Living.
This article was originally published at PopSugar Moms. Reprinted with permission from the author.