I Had A Talk With My Pre-Teen About Butt Plugs — And WHOA

An internet meme and my reaction to it sparked a great, matter-of-fact conversation with my 12-year-old about anatomy, safety — and the importance of a flared base.

This photo was going around the internet on Facebook.

It is a picture of a pug dressed up in black latex with a shape on its back that resembles a sex toy called an anal plug. The caption said “butt pug” and it looked like a butt plug.

See the similarity?

I showed it to my partner and we snickered. Marcia (my pre-teen daughter) asked me what was so funny. Because I want to be honest with her, explain to her the context of things like this myself (because sex education in school is NOT enough), and help her grow in her understanding of why such things are (or aren't) funny, I showed the picture to her.

Her follow-up question, of course, was, “What’s a butt pug?”

And here's how I answered her:

1. First, I explained to her how the picture was a visual joke.

That there are sex toys some adults use called butt plugs that look like the black shape on the dog’s back. Adults play with them because they feel good, but that they are sized MUCH smaller for humans.

2. Then I talked about anatomy.

I briefly went over how sensitive the area around the anus is. Did you know that the skin around your anus is similar to the lips on your face in terms of sensitivity? It's kind of like the way your lips can detect the rough edge of a fingernail. Your anus can do this as well. (#themoreyouknow)

3. Lastly, I explained a vital safety issue — one that even some adults do not know.

A person should only use toys or items that have a flared base when they are putting it to use in or around the anus. The anus is a ravenous orifice and goofing around with objects that don’t have a flared base usually lands that person in the emergency room.

I addressed the topic using accurate facts without judgment or criticism. 

My daughter’s takeaway? Marcia simply couldn’t believe people put strange things in their rectums. 

When she gets older, maybe she will figure it out. But for now, she has accurate information about toys and physiological information about the anus that she may remember for when that time comes.

xxoo,
The MamaSutra

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This article was originally published at The MamaSutra. Reprinted with permission from the author.