Don't expect this kind of Peter Pan to grow up.
Some people, when equipped with little, can succeed in life and become multi-billionaires. Others, however, will find every excuse imaginable to avoid becoming a successful, independent adult.
These people have what's called Failure To Launch syndrome, and if you’re dating one, you’re probably waiting for them to finally take on a more responsible, adult role. If you notice any of these things, it’s time to leave him.
1. He is past the age of 35 and still lives with his parents.
Though times have changed significantly in recent decades and while there may be cultural issues at play, this is still a major warning sign that something isn’t right. If he has never moved out of his parents’ home by this age, there’s a good chance that he’s not going to budge if you ask him to move in with you. Why? Because he has failure to launch syndrome and he can’t stand the idea of being away from his caretakers.
2. He still acts like a f*ckboy.
Even though it’s definitely not cool at any age, it’s understandable if a guy acts like a jerk in his teenage years or even his early twenties. After a while, though, this kind of behavior should raise an eyebrow. If he’s still doing this well into his thirties, he’s emotionally stunted — and you should bail.
3. His career is shoddy at best.
The most common hallmark of a Failure To Launch guy is the fact that he has no career to speak of. Most of the time, he spends his days on his computer or playing video games. He can’t (or won’t) keep a full-time job for longer than three months, and basically expects everything to be handed to him regardless of the fact that he does nothing to earn it.
A woman who dates a guy with this career issue shouldn’t expect things to turn around and should be looking for a better match.
4. He can’t do basic household upkeep and he’s over 25.
By the time anyone is in their 20s, they should know what to expect when dealing with regular household chores. If he can’t do laundry, can’t clean dishes, and can’t cook by this age, this indicates that he’s not capable of living without someone else doing it all for him.
5. He acts unusually childlike for his age.
There’s nothing wrong with having fun on the weekends, going to the club occasionally, or having hobbies like cosplay. But there is a certain point where a person’s actions and behavior stop being youthful and start being worrisome. If he has tantrums, pouts, or can’t seem to stop acting like a teenager, this is a sign that he has failure to launch syndrome, at least on an emotional level.
6. His expectations of what he can get in terms of romance or marriage are unreal.
Most guys who are failure to launch examples often think that they can “pull” women that are way above their leagues. They will expect the girl they date to look incredible, have an insane career, be the heiress to a million dollars, and also be willing to take care of them no matter what. Obviously, many of these guys also have Nice Guy Syndrome, so take that as you wish.
7. You can’t convince him to get a job, go to school, or even save up money.
The problem with most Failure To Launch partners is that they wreak havoc on your personal finances. Even if you can support a Fail-To-Launch, they will find other ways to drain your bank account. And when you try to convince them to do something to alleviate the stress, they’ll make you out to be the bad guy.
Sadly, people like this don’t learn — ever. So, rather than lighting yourself on fire to keep warm, do yourself a favor and walk away.
8. When you try to advance the relationship or get him to act like an adult, an excuse always shows up.
Guys who fail to launch don’t want to accept responsibility for the fact that they’re losers. So, if you tell him you want him to move out, he’ll say that he doesn’t have enough money. If you tell him you have money for him, he’ll say he needs to get his debt in order. If you offer to pay his debt, he’ll say that he doesn’t want to do it “that way.” Excuses will be there, no matter what.
9. He’s constantly going out to the club and using substances, even when he can’t afford it.
This is a bad sign that he may have more than just Failure To Launch syndrome. A guy who can’t realize when the party’s over is a guy who may be addicted to staying a teenager forever... or just addicted to drugs.
10. He’s deathly afraid of commitment.
No matter what you do or what argument you offer, he will not commit to anything more than (if you’re lucky) “girlfriend status.” If this sounds like him, you need to rethink your taste in men. With a guy like this, he’s not the only thing that will fail to launch if you’re hoping to hubby him up.