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Move on and rise above that bottom feeder.
By Haywood Hunt — Written on Feb 20, 2017
Hating your ex is normal during the immediate post-divorce period. However, you have to realize that hating your ex is actually a waste of your time and energy because you deserve to be spending your time on things that bring you happiness.
Hating your ex simply means that you’ve been hurt and that your ex may have a done a lot of things to cause your marriage to crumble. Yes, your hatred is valid. Yes, it is perfectly OK to wish that your ex would simply fall off the face of the earth.
So why not do just that and shove your ex out of your life by spending little to no energy thinking about them? Here are some tips to help you get over your ex faster and stop wasting your time hating.
1. Have a technology detox.
Being on the internet, phone and social media can be great for venting, but also know that being constantly connected can increase the chances of you running into your ex or seeing posts that can make your anger boil over. A technology detox will also give you more time to focus on other things and prevent you from indulging in cyber stalking your ex.
2. Catch up on sleep.
Recovering from a divorce is a very stressful time, so why stress out yourself further by not sleeping well? Get sufficient slumber to rejuvenate your health, re-energize yourself, and help yourself feel better.
3. Exercise gratefulness.
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There are so many things in life that you should be thankful for. Be grateful for each day and remember that you are blessed each time your mind begins thinking about negative things.
4. Stay away from negativity.
Negative self-talk is one of the biggest culprits for unhappiness. When negative things start creeping unto your consciousness, it is only a matter of time before you’ll find yourself grumpy, out of focus, and vulnerable to dwelling on past bad experiences. Make sure you stop yourself before that happens.
5. Set boundaries.
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There will be times when you’ll have to interact with your ex when you have kids together. Set boundaries and appropriate limits, and make sure you respect those boundaries and limits.
6. Limit your caffeine intake.
Caffeine is a stimulant and can get you more stressed by supporting the release of adrenaline. When you cut down your caffeine intake, you’ll find that it will be easier for you to stay calm — yes, even when you’re around your ex.
7. Take control of your emotions.
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It is easy to get stuck on hating your ex, but you need to realize that hatred is a very strong emotion that can eat you up from the inside out. By taking control of your emotions, you’ll be able to channel your energies towards more positive feelings that can ultimately lead to happiness.
8. Strive to change your perspective.
It is your choice whether you’ll choose to keep hating your ex or choose to love yourself and open up to better possibilities in the future. Divorce can change you in so many ways. It is up to you to ensure that that change will be for the better.
These tips are not a fast-track way to get over your ex. These are only things that can help you love yourself more and spend time on things that build you up instead of wasting your energy.