On Valentine's Day, that is.
Some people use this day every year as a means to “prove” their love to their crushes, partners, or spouses, and others lament it all day long, ruing the scent of candy hearts and roses on the air.
If you’re not a V-Day fanatic, whether you have someone to share it with or not, then you know that there are a ton of fun things to do on this Hallmark-iest of holidays that have absolutely nothing to do with love and pretty much everything to do with stuffing your face with chocolate and yummy food, reminiscing about all the poor love choices you’ve made thus far in your life. Or just by proving you’re better off without them and maybe indulging in some petty revenge by naming cockroaches after them.
It’s a very versatile and creative day for the love-lorn or the love-scorned. And what better way to indulge than by filling your mouth hole full of beer and a plate of free chicken wings?!
Yes, that’s right. Hooters is continuing its anti-valentine tradition by offering you a wonderful chance to feel good and get free food.
If you’ve got nothing better to do next Tuesday — and let’s face it, who does? — then you can participate in their #ShredYourEx promotion and rip a picture of your ex to shreds in exchange for a delicious plate of boneless wings. (You know... boneless... like your ex.)
It’s a little like trading your soul, but not quite as commitment-heavy. If you’re recently out of a relationship and can’t stop crying, then all the better. The salt of your tears will probably just make the chicken taste even more amazing, so it’s a win-win.
You’re just going to need to bring in a photo of your ex, present it to the lovely wait staff, and then feed that sucker into the shredder, along with whatever sick fantasies were playing in your head about getting back together.
“For those rebounding from a tough breakup or just taking a break from the whole relationship thing, Hooters is offering a tasty solution: shred ‘em and forget ‘em,” said Hooters reps. “On February 14, guests will earn 10 free boneless wings with the purchase of 10 wings by shredding an image of their ex in-store or online.”
So even if you can’t bring yourself to do the shredding in the actual store, you can always upload that photo you still have (we know you do, don’t lie) to the Shred Your Ex website for a printable coupon that’ll steer you toward those delicious free chicken wings.
If the 25,000 people who shredded their exes last Valentine’s Day are any indication, especially after 2016 was such a butthole of a year, then we’re worried that there literally might not be enough chicken to go around for this promotion.
So get prepared to do some shreddin’ and maybe buy yourself a box of chocolates. Or three.