Breadcrumbs are for the birds. Don't stand for it.
What is breadcrumbing? Breadcrumbing is a form of breakup that’s just plain brutal. Rather than just disappearing and refusing to talk to you like in ghosting, breadcrumbing is what guys do when they just want to keep you hanging on by a thread. This way, they get to sleep with you or get your ego stroking, but they also don’t have to commit to you.
Once they find a girl they actually would commit to, they ghost. As you can imagine, it’s brutal and best nipped in the bud immediately. Here’s what to watch out for if you think you’re being breadcrumbed by your potential boyfriend.
1. You plan dates, but he keeps pushing them off.
This is the most common sign that he’s not actually serious about meeting up. If you two met online, this could also be a sign that he’s catfishing you or is actually taken.
2. Or, you went on one date and things just never seem to click up again.
This is often baffling because the date typically goes well (if it ever happens). Then, actually getting another date planned suddenly becomes harder than climbing Mount Everest. You want to say it’s because of bad luck, but you might not really be sure.
3. When you call him out on breadcrumbing you, he immediately pays more attention to you for like one week... then backs away again.
This is often done to prove that he’s not “one of those jerks that ghosts.” Truthfully, guys who do this are just wastes of time.
4. Most of the time, your interaction with this guy is literally just text messages once every two or three days.
If you’re breadcrumbed, you’re literally being put as his last priority. As a result, the most common time he’ll hit you up is when he’s bored... and that might not happen too often.
5. By the end of the breadcrumb ordeal, the texts are short and stupid.
This is the kind of guy who will literally only text you one-word messages like “Sup?” and “Yo.” Sound familiar? Get a guy who will pay more attention to you, girl.
6. He phases in and out of your life.
Some guys are intermittent breadcrumbers. So, they may actually just breadcrumb by dropping in once or twice via Facebook or Snapchat. Once they give you a “Like,” they’re out of your life again.
7. Any interaction you try to bring in feels like you’re pulling teeth.
Breadcrumbers really, truly aren’t interested in you. At all. That’s why any conversation you have will have that weird, awkward feeling of being forced. Don’t tolerate this!
8. A suspicious amount of his texts to you happen at 1 AM.
This may be a sign that he just sees you as a booty call. Or, it could be a sign that he’s bored and breadcrumbing you.
9. He insists that he’s serious about dating you, but can’t actually come up with a date, time to meet, or even give you a real number.
Here’s the truth that many online matching sites don’t tell you: a good portion of people don’t ever actually meet up with people they chat with. For them, it’s just entertainment and a way to pass time.
10. If he reappears, he pretends like nothing happened.
This is actually common with ghosting, but with breadcrumbing, he may act like he “just finally” got his schedule together. Don’t take him up on the date.
11. He always comes around just as you lose interest or begin to lose interest.
Make no mistake about it, this is done on purpose. They want to keep you interested because it tends to boost their ego and give them the option of being with you if nothing else pans out. That’s the most common reason why someone would breadcrumb you, and that’s really awful if you think of it.
12. If you moved on and he reappears, he’ll most likely pout and play the victim.
If he has the nerve to pout, make sure to explain to him that you’re not going to wait for his loser behind to make up his mind. He deserves the sadness he gave himself and you’re not to blame for his stupid decisions.