Stop with all the emotional roadblocks.
Are you getting in your own way when it comes to love? You may think that you’re open to finding and falling in love and being in a relationship, but you may be subconsciously doing things that prevent it from happening. There can be a disconnect between your brain and your heart.
You may think that enough time has passed and that you’ve recovered from a previous relationship when the truth is that you’re still in the process of healing.
Most breakups have a huge impact on our lives and it’s rarely easy or fast to recover from them. Unfortunately, no matter how much you want to move on, it can take a lot of time to do so.
You might not be open to love because you’re scared of being hurt and, therefore, you put up obstacles for yourself. It’s too emotionally dangerous for you to be in love but you’re lonely and think you’re strong enough to take a risk, but if you were honest with yourself you’d understand that you’re not ready at all.
If you’ve never been in love, the prospect of falling in love may be quietly terrifying, and you might ignore any opportunities that could lead to you finding someone. If you never go out or use any dating apps, you’ll definitely limit the chances that you’ll meet a potential love interest.
We make mistakes all the time in all areas of our lives. If we can learn from them and try not to repeat them, we can grow. It’s not healthy to do the same negative actions repeatedly. Making sure that you make a terrible first impression on someone just to guarantee that they won’t be interested in you is a negative behavior.
You're a strong woman and you have no problem letting go. The problem is because you often act without thinking things through, you can let go too easily. At the first sign of any incompatibility or difference, you're done.
You don't give the other person time enough to show you who they really are or if the thing you thought was a non-negotiable issue really was. You just don't want to waste any time on a relationship that isn't spectacular right out of the gate.
You refuse to admit that you have any faults and when problems arise, you won't make any attempt to reach a compromise. It's either your way or no way because, clearly, any problems have nothing to do with you. However, love requires a healthy amount of give and take, not your partner giving 100 percent all the time.
You love hanging out with your friends so much that you don't miss having a partner in your life. And your friends are so much like you in that they're strong, independent women who love their lives and don't feel that they're lacking without a relationship. This is all good as long as you're OK with leading a single lifestyle; if not, you need to put aside some time to meet someone.
You're very sensitive and feel every emotion fully, so it's understandable that you're fiercely guarding your heart against any more pain. But here's the thing: you love to be in love, so if you're preventing yourself from feeling those emotions, you're cheating yourself. It's OK to be cautious, just don't be cautious to the extreme. Take a few more emotional risks but do it in a smart way with non-threatening activities like group dates and meetups.
You have a lot of pride and sometimes that pride gets in the way of you falling in love. If there's a disagreement or you make a mistake, your pride prevents you from apologizing or admitting that you made a mistake. You won't be honest with your emotions if you think it makes you look weak.
You're used to doing everything yourself — figuring out the solution to every problem, fixing whatever needs to be fixed, and never depending on anyone else to give you what you need. You're disgustingly capable and independent, and you're comfortable that way.
However, underneath all that proficiency is someone who's afraid of being with someone or having another person do things for them. Know that having a partner and someone to share the burden with doesn't make you dependent, it makes things better.
You're afraid to get too close to someone because you're afraid that you might be making a mistake and that the perfect person for you is still out there. You hate making the wrong decision. The problem is you get too stuck in your head, weighing all the pros and cons, and by the time you're done, your potential love interest is long gone.
Sometimes you just need to take a chance and go for it. If they're not the right person for you, it will become clear, but you'll never know until you try.
Because you were so into your ex, you still compare everybody you meet to them and no one ever measures up. It would be one thing if you were aware of this and could move on, but you're not. When you think about someone all the time and make up secret plans on how to get them back, you're not over them and you're wasting time that you could be using in getting involved with someone new.
You tend to get so focused on yourself that it can get in the way of falling in love. You can't slow down enough to give love a chance if you're off traveling or working on your career. You believe that you can't do it all and if love is the collateral damage, so be it.
That's great, but underneath it, you're afraid that if you fall in love, it's going to cramp your style and you'll feel tied down. You can still do all the things you love; if you try to put aside a little time for love, you'll be surprised that you won't have to give up anything.
Everybody who knows you thinks of you as someone they can depend on because of your strength. You're secretly scared of love because you're afraid that loving someone will make you weak and that you'll feel out-of-control emotionally.
On the other hand, you look to the future and you definitely see kids and family in your life. Trust that all your wonderful character traits aren't going away if you should give your heart to someone.
You don't know how comfortable you'd be loving someone, so you tend to give off the "we're only friends" vibe to be safe. Putting yourself out there romantically is terrifying but the rewards are huge. If it's not easy to listen to your heart, then look at the situation logically and think about how your life might improve with more love in it.
You keep getting involved with the wrong person again and again. You think you can no longer trust your gut instincts because they've betrayed you so often. While it does suck to get hurt, sometimes you just need to have faith that you've learned something along the way and that you'll use that knowledge to not make the same mistakes again.
Love isn't always fun, but think of all the great material you got out of those failed relationships.