7 Ways To Dress Up Your Clitoris WITHOUT Piercing It

If you want to dress up your vagina, there aren't really that many options.

You either cover it up with fancy (if scant) lingerie or get a clit piercing. 

I hate underwear (oh my god so much), I hate lingerie even more (it's like lace dental floss up your butt), and while I enjoy my sex with a little slice of pain, even I have to admit that the mere THOUGHT of getting a clit piercing is enough to make my poor heart swoon. 

But wait...

It turns out there's another option when it comes to fancying up your vagina, one that involves neither fabric trying to insert itself inside of you nor having a non-medical professional jab at your clitoris with a needle! 

Ladies and gentlemen may I please present, clitoral jewelry.

That's right. 

It's jewelry, but for your clitoris. 

Part thong, part necklace, all awesome, clitoral jewelry is a great alternative for girls who hate lingerie but who still want to give their partner a sexy thrill.

I've pulled together a list of 7 totally unique pieces of clitoral jewelry to get you inspired or just to make the people who happen to be walking by your computer deeply uncomfortable.

Take your pick!

Happy clitoral jewelry shopping. 

1Say it with scarabs.

Sylvie Monthule

This tasteful scarab design covers up MOST of the vagina, making it the most modest of the clitoral jewelry on this list. Which is really saying something when I mention that there's a tiny butt plug attached to its base. 

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

2I know why the caged clit sings.

Sylvie Monthule

You know what they say, it's better to have two birds in the hand than two in the bush. That's probably why this birdcage clitoral jewelry best suits a trimmed a bush. ZING! 

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

3All wrapped up with no place to go.

Sylvie Monthule

I like this one, because it makes you look slutty AND hard to get. And here you thought it was mildly awkward when someone had to tell you that your SHOES were untied. Oy. 

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

4Proof that size doesn't matter.

Sylvie Monthule 

The best thing about this piece of jewelry is how you could totally picture it being something that Wonder Woman would wear! I mean, minus the tiny little chode attachment, that is. 

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

5Part of your world.

Sylvie Monthule

The Little Mermaid might be rated G, but THIS Little Mermaid is definitely rated XXX.

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

6Open wide!

Sylvie Monthule

Traditionally X marks the spot, but in this case, a pair of silver hands will also make "the spot" crystal clear, yes?

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule  

7Stand at attention!

Sylvie Monthule 

The next time I'm explaining to someone how the clitoris is actually primarily made of erectile tissue and they don't believe me, I'm just going to put on this piece of jewelry and allllll will be made clear. 

For the full image, go here: Sylvie Monthule