There is no such thing as "safe" sex.
There's safer sex, you know, sex where you know your partner's sexual history, where he wears a condom, and you're on birth control.
But, and not to be a total buzz kill here, if you're looking to be 100% safe during sex ... you're better off sticking with masturbation.
For some, part of the thrill of casual sex comes from the danger of it all.
It's an interesting question and a serious one.
While people are more aware than ever of the dangers of STDs, could that awareness be making practicing unsafe sex the hottest new trend in the bedroom?
I asked my posse of anonymous dudes, and they really opened up on their thoughts on unsafe sex as the newest kink, and what they REALLY think about wearing a condom.
What do you think about unsafe sex? Do you have safe sex? Is it kinky to be unsafe when you're having sex?
- "I think safe sex is important, but I totally cum in my girlfriend. She's on birth control, but we both love the idea of it being 'risky' even though that risk is almost totally mental."
- "I've been with my girlfriend for ten years. I wear a condom every time. Safe sex isn't a joke."
- "I think if you're committed, and she's on birth control or has an IUD then there is no harm."
- "If a woman wants to have unprotected sex with me, I need to see blood tests, and I'd hope she wants to see mine."
- "I'll be real, I've totally had sex without a condom with a random hookup. It's hot."
- "I'd be lying if I said I'd never hooked up without being safe before, before now that I'm in my 30s I try to take safe sex more seriously."
- "I'm HIV positive and I've been in a monogamous relationship with my partner for 15 years. I'm showing a zero in my viral load, so my partner and I have unprotected sex. He and I didn't do it lightly. We both knew the risks. He's still negative."
- "It's funny, I feel like the fact that we know more about STDs now and can treat them better makes it easier for people to have unprotected sex without worrying."
- "I have unprotected sex all the time. There is nothing like skin on skin."
- "I instantly judge a woman who is down to go raw the first time we meet. But I totally do it."
- "I'm domme to my GF's submissive. She's on birth control. We don't use condoms and never have. Part of our BDSM play is the idea that I could get her pregnant, so to that extent yeah, I'd say that unsafe sex is a kink."
- "It's not a kink, it's stupid."
- "It's kinky in the way that Russian roulette is kinky."
- "I'm too scared of catching something. I got scabies once in college. STDs aren't sexy fun, they're gross and deadly."
- "Kinks are things that shouldn't be sexy that we think are sexy, right? There's nothing sexier than being inside a woman, I don't see how it's kinky, it's a natural desire."
So I think we can all agree that having sex without a condom just FEELS better.
But I think we can also all agree that if you want to be having the safest sex that you can, you need to have a condom up in there.
And never let a guy tell you he's "too big" to wear a condom. That myth has been seriously busted already.
There's no reason that knowing MORE about all of the different ways we can get sick from sex should make us take care less care about our health (and our partners' health) in the bedroom.
Just, no, guys.