Turn 'that time of the month' into SEXY-times!
The words ‘period sex’ don’t necessarily make you want to jump right in the sack with your current partner. There’s a horrible stigma that it’s gross, that it’s weird, and that it’s unsanitary. Some people use the argument that women in native cultures used to leave the group during that time to spend some self-reflection time with other women.
Even without all of that, these days the basic sense sentiment that “I just feel like shit on my period” seems to reign supreme.
I mean, it totally makes sense. I know I feel like shit on my period. Actually starting the whole bleeding thing is a small prize up from the week before I spend feeling like I want to cry because I ran out of ketchup or that I could punch just about anyone who walks by me.
In truth, period sex is NOT gross. It’s not unsanitary (if you do it right) — and it can be totally liberating!
Plus, the whole built-in lubrication thing is pretty nice (depending on which part of your cycle you’re in, as well as on your feminine hygiene method of choice).
Breaking the Taboo
But before we go into the whole how-to part, it’s important to address possible problems you may encounter with your partner.
For years, I thought period sex was not an option because all of the guys I was with refused to have sex with me when I was on my period. They also expected that because we wouldn’t have sex for at least a few days, I would spend the whole week giving them blow jobs just because I was bleeding.
Like, what?! —
Looking back now I realize two things:
A) I clearly was not dating men, but rather boys.
B) They were still reaping benefits while I was in the midst of the worst pain of the month ... because I was bleeding?!
Any guy worth your time realizes that your sexual appeal doesn't go away when you’re bloated and crampy and bleeding.
I realized my fiance was a MAN when he was not only totally cool about things getting a bit messy but actually seemed even more attracted to me when I was radiating from my bleeding hormones.
So, here’s some code:
- Your guy is in “Boy Status” if he refuses to have sex with you on your period, and his status goes down even further if he expects you to give him blowjobs during that time.
- Your guy is in neutral “Guy Status” if he’s not super into period sex but he’s willing to consider it.
- Your guy is in “Man Status” if he’s totally okay with period sex. Maybe he's even a bloodhound (i.e. a man whose fetish is period sex).
Curious About It?
First thing’s first. You should only give it a go if you want to have sex on your period. If you think it’s gross or you just don’t feel good, that is totally okay and no one should make you feel like you have to sex during Bloody Sunday (or ever).
Also, don’t feel like you’re obligated to give him anything just because you don’t feel like having sex. He has two hands and access to Internet porn — he can take care of himself. Unless you want to, leave him to it. (But make sure to let him know that chocolate in any form is an acceptable gift no matter what.)
If you’re on the fence about the whole period sex thing (and let’s face it, most of us are on the fence about it), here are some reasons to consider giving it a go:
- Orgasms release all kinds of feel-good hormones and endorphins that can ix-nay those icky period feelings, at least for a little while.
- You totally don’t need extra lube. At least the blood is good for something!
- Say goodbye to those icky cramps! Orgasms also help loosen up those gut clenching muscles.
Here’s another important thing to know (and to tell those guys that try to get out of the whole condom thing) ...
YOU CAN GET PREGNANT ON YOUR PERIOD!!!
Although the risk goes way down (like close to nil), there is still a risk. And considering that sperm can just kind of hang out for up to five days, there’s a chance you could still get pregnant after your period.
So unless you’re trying to have a baby or you just like to tempt fate, I would suggest using protection and birth control at all times. You can tell your partner that, too, because both unwanted babies and potential STIs are NOT sexy.
Best Ways to Do It
Let’s dive in about some ways you can explore period sex, safely, together. There are several ways to have sex while on your period.
Here’s some of the pros and cons of some of the most popular ways.
1. Shower sex.
Pros of shower sex on your period is that it’s probably the least messy way to get down while bleeding. Water pressure temporarily counters the pressure of the blood being released, meaning no/very little bleeding while submerged in water. And any blood that does come out just goes right down the drain.
One of the cons of shower sex is that condoms can slip or break. Another con is that because the water stops your bleeding, you may need to use a water-based lubricant. Dry sex is no fun for anyone. I highly recommend Good Clean Love’s water-based lubricants, but any lubricant that says water-based on the label will do.
2. Sex on the bed.
Okay, first off, to those girls who like being on top? Do yourself and your partner a favor and pick a you-on-bottom position. Turns out, gravity is a thing and gravity is NOT your friend in this case. Unless he likes being covered in blood, just don’t go there (or do, if you’re into that kind of stuff).
You might be a little bit worried about sexing on the sheets, which is why it’s a super good idea to grab your cheapest (and darkest) towel for extra support. If you don’t have one, just go out and get one. Trust me, it’s worth it. Take the blankets off your bed and lay the towel down for you guys to use as a base.
Make sure you focus on a lot of foreplay (but probably don’t have him go down on you — unless you’re both into it). Best foreplay bets? Kissing, touching the upper half of your body, nipple play, etc. You’re also more likely to be able to self-lubricate when you’re not in the shower, and sex lying down is often more comfortable than worrying about slipping and sliding around.
How much you’re bleeding will also determine how much (if any) lubricant you need, as will the amount of time between when your clothes come off and you start having sex. If you’re surfing the heavy flow, that needs to happen immediately. If you’re further along, you can probably risk it for a few more minutes.
Whichever method you choose, you’re guaranteed to have a good time.
And hey, even if it isn’t your cup of tea, at least you tried.
Now … Get to it!
More sexy content like this from Slutty Girl Problems:
- Hosting Menstruation Negotiations in Your Bedroom
- Why Sex Isn’t Always Exciting (And What You Can Do About It)
This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.