6 Valentine's Day Drinks That Won't Give Him Whiskey D*ck!

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valentine's day drinks
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Drink up!

Valentine's day is the greatest time of year.

It's great if you're single, because there are sure to be some top-of-the-line bargains on huge boxes of chocolate at your local pharmacy. 

It's great if you're dating someone, because you get to make out in public, eat a nice meal, sample some tasty Valentine's day drinks and then hopefully try something nice and weird in the bedroom. 

But all your plans for sexy fun could go awry if your dude has had one too many cocktails. 

That's right, I'm talking about his penis. 

While alcohol might be great at lowering inhibitions, it's not great at raising a penis. 

Doctors and girlfriends agree ... too much alcohol can make getting and maintaining an erection close to impossible. 

But that doesn't mean you need to sacrifice indulging in your favorite boozy cocktail in order to get a super hot orgasm! 

Low-alcohol cocktails are a tasty (and still buzz-inducing) way to drink your night away and still get down to some hot antics in the bedroom. 

Here are 6 of my favorite low-alcohol Valentine's day drinks! 

 

1. Aperol Spritz

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Ah, the humble Aperol spritz, the most reliable and manly of the low-alcohol cocktails.

Hand him this glass and he'll have no clue he isn't tossing back something Ernest Hemingway would have enjoyed.

Only you know it's prosecco with Aperol or Campari. He'll just know it's a classy alcoholic treat.

But that's okay, he'll thank you later. 

To make

Combine 2 oz Prosecco, 1 1/4 oz Aperol, Splash of Soda water and pour over ice. 

 

2. Rosé Spritzer

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Valentine's day is the perfect occasion to crack open a bottle of rosé! 

Make it last, and keep yourself from getting too wasted by balancing it out with a hefty pour of seltzer.

Voila! Instant refreshing low-alcohol spritzer. 

To make

Combine equal parts rose of your choosing and seltzer, garnish with orange peel or other fruit. 

 

3. Nacho Vidal 

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Shrubs are low-alcohol vinegar-based cocktails, and friends, while they might sound bizarre, they are a delight. 

This chile lime shrub recipe from Bon Appetit is one of my go-to cocktails for date drinks.

You make a pitcher, and can party all night:

Even in the bedroom! 

To make

Combine equal parts tequila, Campari, lemon juice, lime juice, and shrub (equal parts vinegar and simple syrup) in a large pitcher, garnish with lime! 

 

4. Strawberry mimosa 

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Valentine's day is the one day of the year some dudes will be willing drink a pink cocktail without complaint.

So really make it count! 

Sub out the OJ in your mimosa for strawberry juice and you'll have a low-alcohol, fizzy, pink delight. 

To make

Combine equal parts champagne and pureed strawberry juice, garnish with strawberry. 

 

5. Grand coffee

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End the evening with a sweet cookie with your sweetie, and some coffee to keep you both going!

If you want to add a shot of Grand Marnier to your coffee, we absolutely won't tell.

Just enough booze to get you booze nice and randy. 

To make:

Make a cup of coffee to your preference, spike with 1 oz. Grand Marnier, garnish with orange peel. 

 

6. Michelada 

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Treat your Valentine's day celebration like a quick jaunt south of the border. 

This cocktail is beer, lime, and hot sauce! 

It's all the fixings that make up a cocktail with way less of the alcoholic punch. 

Plus, he can't complain it's girly: 

It's beer! 

To make

Mix a beer of your choice with tomato juice, freshly squeezed lime juice, and Worcestershire sauce, teriyaki sauce, soy sauce, or hot sauce to taste. Experimentation is key! 

 

Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.
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