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Don't be scared!
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Oct 07, 2021
Let's say you're giving your boyfriend a blowjob.
It reaches its conclusion, you spit or swallow, and when the two of you are cuddling and savoring the afterglow, in between kisses (and he better be kissing you), he mentions that your mouth feels so good... but he wonders what it would feel like if you figured out how to deep throat his penis.
Your entire body goes tense. Because you're sure you can deep throat. But try to relax. Odds are since you just gave him a blowjob, he doesn't mean he wants you to deep throat him right now. You've got time.
Nobody is born knowing how to deep throat. That would be weird.
In order to do it like a champ and still feel comfortable and happy yourself, there are some things you need to know. I've compiled four quick and dirty tips to improve your deep throat game, read them and you'll be all set.
But before you do, remember this above everything else: Deep throating doesn't just happen. It's going to take time. So don't be hard on yourself. You got this!
1. Practice, practice, practice.
Don't let porn fool you. Deep throating does not come naturally.
The women you see in porn are professionals. They are getting paid to deep throat.
Luckily, when it comes to practicing, your boyfriend or sex partner will be eager to help you learn. Or at least he better be... because, you know, you're going to be sucking his penis.
2. Don't go all at once.
Ease yourself (and his penis) into your mouth and throat as you feel comfortable. Just like anal sex, deep throating isn't something that just magically happens.
In addition to practicing during your average blowjobs, you can also practice on stuff like your toothbrush. You'll read all over the internet that practicing on a banana is great idea. It isn't.
Why? Because bananas are fragile and can break, leaving you choking and spluttering for air.
Nobody wants their obituary to read: died pretending to deep throat an overly ripe tropical fruit. Keep your practice to real penises and less fragile objects.
3. Banish your gag reflex.
Human beings are not designed to bring a penis down our throats. Surprise! Anatomy does not work that way.
Your gag reflex exists to help you save yourself from choking, and deep throating a penis is essentially sustained choking. That's why you hear all those nightmare stories about women throwing up on penises. That's your gag reflex trying to save your life!
There are ways, however, to train your gag reflex.
As mentioned, practicing with a penis or a toothbrush is a great way to start.
Another very popular method is pinching or squeezing the skin between your thumb and index finger. I don't know how this works, but it does. Is it the distraction, some kind of acupuncture wisdom? Maybe.
What matters is that it works. The same goes for making your hands into fists, another popular method.
Some women swear by humming during their deep throating, which does add up, since when you hum you are lifting up your soft palate, essentially lifting your gag reflect out of the way.
The key is figuring out which one of these methods work for you. Try a few until you find one that does work.
4. Pick the perfect position.
You might think a penis in the mouth is simply a penis in the mouth. But not so!
The position you're in when you give him a deep throat blowjob is actually super-important. You want your throat and mouth to make a straight line in order to better conquer your gag reflex.
The ol' kneeling while he stands blowjob sex position? Actually pretty terrible. Try lying on the bed on your back, making sure there are no pillows beneath your head.
Another great tip is to elevate your legs (use those pillows that you aren't using beneath your head). Lifting your legs alters your spine's alignment ensuring that your throat and mouth are in a straight line.
Finding the right position for your deep throating adventures is almost more important than anything else.
Don't be afraid to ask for what you need when you're practicing your deep throating, and if that means playing a game of Goldilocks and the three sex positions, so be it!
5. Check in with your man.
There is no clitoris in your throat, so any pleasure you're getting from deep throating his penis comes from giving your partner pleasure.
That's an admirable quality, to be sure, but it doesn't mean that you lose any rights to say no or to stop deep throating if you aren't into it.
Before you start figuring out how to deep throat your man's penis, ask him why he's interested in deep throating. He might not be able to put it into words, but even attempting to have the conversation will bring you two closer.
Once you know why he's into it, you might feel more comfortable stopping or saying that it's something you don't want to try.
If you love deep throating penises, that is great! But if it's something you'd rather not do, you're allowed to say that.
Believe me, your dude would much rather have you explain why you don't want to do it than have you throw up on his penis.
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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a freelance writer and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime.