A 23-Point Love Contract To Bulletproof Your Relationship

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love contract
Love

Have it in writing so you always remember.

We all want to have a relationship that stands the test of time, but we often don't know how to achieve that. You can make verbal promises, but one or both partners could forget making them.

In order to give couples a stronger relationship, using a love contract is just one way to do this. So, if you want to strengthen your connection and relationship overall, print out the following words and sign it with your partner:

Dear (NAME OF YOUR PARTNER),

1. I promise to be gentle with you and your heart.

2. I promise to allow you to have access to my heart.

3. I promise to tell you the full truth even when it’s sometimes scary to do so.

4. I promise to put effort into learning how you most like to be listened to and then listen to you in that way as often as I can.

5. I promise to love and support you when you need it, and lovingly push and encourage you when you need it.

6. I promise that I will make myself as emotionally fulfilled as possible in my own life, in order that I can show up as my best self for our relationship.


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7. I promise to be aware of, and own, my own emotional triggers and to never hold you responsible for my emotional response to things.

8. I promise to not waste precious time or energy worrying about who to place blame on. It gets us nowhere and it distracts from our collective goal of coming back to a place of love and connection.

9. I acknowledge that you are not your parents, and I am not my parents, and although we likely have some residual habits that they passed on to us, we can choose a new way if their way doesn’t work for us.

10. I promise to assume that you have the best of intentions.

11. I promise to assume that you are always coming from a place of love.

12. I promise to love and accept every side of you and all of your emotions, moods, and insecurities.

13. I promise to support you in your career, hobbies, passions, and anything else that makes you happy.

14. I promise to continually put effort into our relationship.

15. I promise to make distractions-free connection time a priority on a regular basis.

16. I promise to have a one-on-one date night with you at least once every month, no matter how busy or stressful life becomes.

17. I promise to always be open to talking about our sex life, no matter how challenging certain conversations might be to have.

18. I promise to always look for how you might be hurting in the moments when you try to push me away.

19. I promise to never hold the relationship hostage. I will never say, “Then why are we even doing this?” or threaten our partnership in any way.

20. I promise to always cherish our relationship and celebrate it as the safe container for growth that it is.


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21. I promise to always make you feel as safe, comfortable, and seen as possible.

22. Regarding all of the aforementioned statements, I acknowledge that when I say “never” or “always,” I will inevitably make mistakes. I am human, and I am not perfect. But I promise to always do my best and to promptly acknowledge when I have messed up.

23. And above all else, I promise to love you.

Sincerely,

(YOUR NAME)

.......

Sex and relationship coach Jordan Gray helps people remove their emotional blocks and maintain thriving intimate relationships. You can see more of his writing at JordanGrayConsulting.com.

 

This article was originally published at Jordan Gray Consulting. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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