7 Reasons The Kama Sutra Is Total Bullsh*t For Real-Life Sex

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Sex

Don’t bring it into your bedroom.

Sometimes, sex gets boring.

It’s sad, but true. When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to fall into the “going through the motions” sex rut.

You both know EXACTLY what’s going to happen every time. You touch THAT. Your partner touches THIS. You have some missionary followed by X, Y, and Z… and done.

But, when a couple realizes that they’re in a sex rut, they want to find a way out of it. So, many times, in their pursuit for something “new” to bring to their sex lives, someone in the relationship will say, “We should get a copy of The Kama Sutra!”

This is a TERRIBLE idea.

I mean no offense to The Kama Sutra itself. It’s a remarkable text, a deservedly famous historical document that DOES talk a lot about sex, but it is NOT a book that’s designed to be a modern couple’s sexual savior.

Before you order your own copy on Amazon, here are 7 reasons why couples need to abandon their bullshit belief that The Kama Sutra will teach them the secret to non-boring sex.

1. The Kama Sutra is NOT a sex manual.

Goodreads

Are there portions of The Kama Sutra that describe tantric sex and complex (often downright gymnastic) sexual positions?

YES.

But, if you’ve ever actually flipped through it, you’ll recognize that those sex positions make up a very small portion of the total book.

More than anything, The Kama Sutra is a Hindu treatise on love, family, and living a balanced life.

And does living a balanced life sometimes mean learning to keep your balance during sex? Sure.

However, the vast majority of the book discusses how to pursue your goals in life — goals of virtuous living, desire, and liberation — so if you’re expecting a simple “sexual how to” guide, you’re going to be disappointed.

2. The Kama Sutra isn’t a particularly sexy book.

Goodreads

Do you get turned on by photographs of erotic temple carvings or 17th century Indian Malwa paintings?

Unless you have a VERY particular fetish, I’m thinking... NO.

So, guess what? Using a copy of The Kama Sutra as a sexual visual aid isn’t going to get ANYONE turned on.

3. The Kama Sutra isn’t “exotic.”

MTV

Let’s not bring Western colonialism into our sexy times, OK?

Too often, people turn to The Kama Sutra because they want to “spice up” their sex lives with something foreign or “other.”

But it’s not some voodoo sex guide. It’s a historical text from India, one of the largest and most populous countries in the world, and probably shouldn’t be treated like a bottle of Spanish Fly.

4. You can find easier sex guides online.

AskMen

Putting aside the fact that The Kama Sutra isn’t “Sex for Dummies,” if you really want to try something new in the bedroom, there are WAY more user-friendly guides to fun sex positions out there and they’re available at the touch of a button.

There are videos, illustrated guides, first-person accounts — there are SO many resources available for people who want to learn how to have more satisfying sex.

If you’re bringing an ancient Sanskrit text in the bedroom to help you pleasure your partner, please realize that you’re doing the sexual equivalent of a hipster composing responses to emails on a vintage typewriter. It’s just unnecessary.

5. Who has time for that many sex positions?

Trendom

I may be outing myself as a terrible lay, but it has to be said — what couple is honestly going to try hundreds of different sexual positions?!

Hundreds? REALLY?

You can’t try like 10 and get a pretty good idea of what’s working for you and what’s not?

Variety is a good thing and, fine, maybe some rare couple out there didn’t really know what true pleasure was until they tried Position #346, but COME ON.

Any sexual partners who know more than 20 moves total are just showing off.

6. The Kama Sutra isn’t as “pro-woman” as your friends might have you believe.

wehuntedthemammoth.com

Does The Kama Sutra place a firm emphasis on female sexual pleasure? It does, and it does so in a way that most historical texts would never dream of.

And, while the book deserves credit for candidly talking about women’s orgasms — even advocating that they should come first — that doesn’t mean that every aspect of the book is “woke” on a feminist level.

For example, in an often-cited passage about rough sex, The Kama Sutra says that a woman’s cries of protests, cries of “No!” or “Stop!”, can sometimes be interpreted as a form of sexual moaning and should be ignored. The book is definitely revolutionary in how it talks about female sexuality, but that doesn’t mean that it’s not tainted by sexual attitudes of the past.

7. Do you really need a sex book?

Goodreads

Part of the fun of sex is experimentation. Figuring out what works, what doesn’t. Discovering the things that push your buttons and then figuring out the things that REALLY push your buttons.

And can you really get that same experience from looking at a book and trying to reenact the “Plough” or “Curled Angel” pose? Doesn’t that sound like following IKEA instructions? Wouldn’t you rather learn in a practical lab setting rather than just taking notes in the textbook?

The Kama Sutra is a legendary work of literature, a truly pivotal document in our global cultural history.

But if you think The Kama Sutra is going to make you orgasm harder than you’ve ever orgasmed before… yeah, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

It’s a millennia-old Sanskrit manuscript, not the world’s be-all-end-all sex manual.

Appreciate it for what it really is. Rejoice in the fact that, thousands of years ago, people were writing about how female orgasms are kind of AWESOME.

Celebrate the legacy of The Kama Sutra and, if you need some new sex moves, do what the rest of the world does (India included) and just go online.

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