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Here's how to know he loves you before he says it.
By Tom Burns
Last updated on Sep 07, 2023
Men aren’t always the best with words.
And I’m saying this as a man who makes his living as a writer.
In my experience, most of those tongue-tied moments occur when men are trying to express their feelings. For every romantic poet like Keats, Shelley, or Byron, there are ten thousand men who can’t quite figure out how to tell the most important person in their life that they love them.
Maybe it’s a gender language thing. Maybe men just don’t watch enough rom-coms. Who knows?
But the important thing is that men do feel those emotions and guys do say “I love you” all the time … even if they don’t actually say it with words.
That’s right. We men are experts in the subtle art of non-verbal communication and the art of confusing verbal communication that means something that we’re too afraid to say directly.
If your man isn’t a silver-tongued poet, here are 10 ways he might secretly be saying he loves you without you ever knowing it.
Here are 10 subtle ways your guy is secretly saying 'I love you:'
1. He asks about your day
But not casually. Like he knows details.
He remembers that you had a big meeting today and he really wants to know what’s happening with Carol from Accounting.
He knows you were worried about that Chem final and wants to hear how it went, and not just in passing.
Yep, he loves you.
2. He talks about your future together
With no hesitation at all. Like it’s already a sure thing.
What he's really saying? He loves you.
3. He talks to your parents on the phone
Even when you don’t want to talk to them.
Actually, especially when you don’t want to talk to them.
Now that's love.
4. He keeps eye contact with you
Even if you’re at a restaurant with a million TV screens on the walls and even if your server has the cut abs and tight butt of a featured player in an early Channing Tatum dance-battle movie.
The truest of love.
5. He picks up your embarrassing personal items from CVS without even flinching
Hemorrhoid cream. Hygiene products. Home enema kits.
Whatever you need, it’s not going to phase him. Because he loves you. See?
6. He happily leaves the party when you want to leave
It doesn’t matter if he was having a good time. He wants to go home with you.
That's not just love, that's partnership.
7. He drives you to the airport at an ungodly hour
Or your sister. Or your mom.
Or anyone you happen to love who needs a ride. And he never complains.
8. He gives you the most thoughtful gifts ever
Like he remembers the necklace you briefly mentioned in a conversation six months ago and gets it for you for Christmas.
He’s that good.
9. He shows up
To work parties. To book clubs. To extended family BBQs.
The dude shows up. He wants to be a part of your life. Because that's how he says he loves you.
10. He wants you to show up too
He introduces you to his friends. He brings to you his work parties. He makes sure that all of his cousins, aunts, and neighbors know who you are.
He wants to share you with the important people in his life because … wait for it … he loves you.
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Tom Burns has served as a contributing editor for 8BitDad and The Good Men Project, and his writing has been featured on Babble, Brightly, Mom.me, Time Magazine, and various other sites.