Sometimes our needs change.
I am in a happy, committed polyamorous relationship.
We all get along amazingly, and getting to know them has introduced me to a whole new world of people in open relationships.
While I might be polyamorous now, like many other people, it might not stay that way forever.
One of the most common questions people ask me about polyamory is how you know if it's time for you to return to monogamy.
Ultimately, it boils down to listening to your gut.
But if you want to get more specific, here are 5 signs it's time for you to become monogamous.
1. You're jealous
Jealousy plays a role in every relationship.
There's healthy jealousy and there's not-so-healthy jealousy.
People in open or polyamorous relationships know that jealousy comes with the territory.
We're used to feeling a little bit jealous, but then talking it out with our partners.
When that jealousy starts to be constant and you're too scared to talk to your partner about it, that's a major indicator that it might be time to ask to be monogamous.
2. You feel overwhelmed
Do you find yourself snapping at your partner for no reason?
Are your everyday responsibilities feeling like just plain too much?
If you're finding yourself feeling like you're not getting any time to yourself, or you find yourself feeling emotionally depleted that could be a sign that the relationship is taking a toll on you.
It could also mean that you're ready for monogamy and your body is trying to send you clues.
3. You're tired of the work
Sure, every relationship takes work.
But polyamorous or open relationships take a lot more work.
You need to be CONSTANTLY in touch about schedule, CONSTANTLY open about your feelings.
It can feel like a lot, and it's all worth it.
But if you find it just ISN'T worth it to you anymore, it might be time to consider monogamy.
4. You don't tell people
When you start keeping the most important relationship of your life a secret, it's time to evaluate how you really feel about it.
If you go out of your way to keep your boyfriend and his girlfriend a secret, because you feel embarrassed and ashamed, that's a sign that what you have going on isn't a healthy relationship.
You should be able to live your life in the light, and if you can't do that with your open relationship, it's time to consider monogamy.
5. You just want him
This is the biggest sign that you're ready to embrace monogamy:
You just want your partner.
You might be "allowed" to date other people or even encouraged to, but the idea doesn't hold any appeal.
You just want to be with him. And that feeling doesn't seem to change.
It doesn't get more monogamous than that.