When relationships become necessities, you lose yourself.
The other night I was out having dinner with my fellow single ladies when the conversation unsurprisingly turned to men.
"I'm just at this point where I'd rather hang out with my friends than a guy," Maggie confessed. And rather than being met with a round of applause and the gold medal she deserved for coming to that realization without a therapist, she was met with a fight.
"But do you want to end up alone forever?"
"You shouldn't give up so easily!"
"Are you on Match? You should get on Match. So many people meet on Match."
"Maybe you need to stop being so picky."
And there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, it's actually better.
There's a race that comes with being single. The moment the status changes and reality hits, the focus turns to starting the relationship cycle all over again. Sometimes, people don't even wait for the relationship to be officially over before they're lining up their next bae.
When relationships become necessities, you lose yourself. You forget the value you have being your own independent person and instead see yourself as someone who is only worthy if they're with someone else. It's a dangerous trap to fall in, and you should avoid it at all costs.
Strong women are strong in the sense that they're enough on their own. They're not against relationships or anti-love by any means. They just don't see it as something they need to be happy.
And because they don't need a guy to make them feel good about themselves, dating is actually a lot more fun. They see multiple guys and have awesome dates because they're more relaxed and easygoing, which is something guys are super into.
If when they do end up finding a guy who they'd like to date, there's not so much pressure on the relationship right away. Plus, if they notice they're not being treated the way they deserve, they leave without any hesitation. Which is, in my humble opinion, a baller move.
So if you think you're somebody who needs a relationship or a guy in your life to feel happy, it's time to shift your focus and play hard to get. Delete your dating apps and put your love life on a pause for a moment in search of better things. Revamp your career, get your dream apartment, pick up that hobby you've always wanted to try and travel your ass off.
Make your only mission in life to fill up your time with things that make you happy and fulfilled. Then, when you feel like you've made it all on your own, start to date again.
That is, if you even want to.