We won't tell.
Currently, I've got bright pink hair and I write about sex for a living.
I do most of that writing from a recliner in my living room, so suffice to say, I don't have to worry about say, how to hide my tattoos.
But that hasn't always been the case!
When I got my first tattoo (on my 18th birthday, but of course), thinking of the best places to hide my tattoos didn't even cross my mind.
I went for right in the middle of my back.
I was a nerdy virgin and the idea of ever exposing my back to anyone (even my parents) seemed impossible.
When I started working as an administrative assistant in corporate America, my back tattoo was obviously easy to hide.
When I became a full-time sex writer, I celebrated the fact by getting two more tattoos, one on each wrist.
Getting a tattoo on each wrist is not exactly genius if I happened to looking for the best places to hide my tattoos.
When I did that I realized I was officially kissing corporate jobs goodbye.
But you don't need to be all dramatic and tattoo-getting like me to get tattoos.
You also don't have to risk being permanently unemployable, either.
Here are 7 totally unique, totally discreet places to get that tattoo you've always craved without getting you called into HR!
1. Armpit tattoo
It doesn't get more secretive and discreet than your armpit!
Plus, since your tattoo will be protected from the sun, it will stay vibrant longer!
The only downside? Apparently armpit tattoos are among the most painful out there!
2. Lip tattoo
Getting tattoos on the inside of your lip isn't for the faint of heart.
They aren't long-lasting (thanks for NOTHING, saliva), but if you're looking for a cool, shocking surprise tattoo this is definitely one for you.
3. Butt tattoo
Butt tattoos are tricky.
They can be cute and low profile or they can be tacky and totally regrettable.
Pick the right design, and you'll have a secret surprise for anyone lucky enough to check out your buns.
4. Inside finger tattoo
Getting tattooed on the inner side of a finger is a cool new trend.
5. Underboob tattoo
Getting a tattoo on your underboob can be painful and awkward, so make sure you find a tattoo artist you trust.
You'll want to go bra free for a time while it's healing, but once it's done you'll have a unique and discreet tattoo for the ages.
6. Foot tattoo
Word to the wise?
Foot tattoos are PAINFUL.
As a general guideline, tattoos placed in areas of the body with less fat are going to be more painful.
Your foot is basically all bone, so you do the math.
Foot tattoos can be a good call for someone looking to hide their tattoos, but that really depends on the footwear you choose.
7. Back of neck tattoo
I love, love, love the way tattoos on the back of the neck look!
If keeping your tattoo hidden is the name of the game, you'll need to make a major commitment to a hairstyle in order to pull this off.
If you can live with always having at least shoulder length hair and ALWAYS having it down at work, then this could work.