It WILL get better.
Not just any crush, of course. Some are totally easy to move on from.
I’m talking about the head-over-heels, I-understand-now-what-all-the-songs-have-been-saying kind of love.
The love that can take your breath away, make you smile and laugh when you want to cry, and makes your heart feel like it’ll burst whenever you’re near him.
The kind people desperately want to find with someone.
And there is nothing worse than when it’s only one-sided.
Sure, there are many people who would sit there are tell you that, while it hurts, it’s nowhere near as hard as a breakup ... but we both know they’re wrong (most of the time).
Because at least a breakup means you were able to give the relationship a chance.
Unrequited love means all those wonderful feelings you felt towards another person were never returned.
Which hurts like hell.
Right now, it might seem like there is nothing you can do that will help you move on from this pain and, if we’re honest with ourselves, the love we still feel.
We think that time is only thing that will help you heal (except maybe eating a pint of ice cream).
And yes, you need time.
But you also need to allow yourself to grieve properly.
While you might not experience them in the same order, the only way to move on is to make it through these stages of grief.
Either you want to go about your day like nothing happened (“What? That conversation never happened and I definitely did not confess my feelings, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”) or your mind is totally numb because you can’t even process their lack of interest or you keep telling yourself they might be interested even though they’ve never shown any interest.
But you can’t ignore it and you shouldn’t ignore it.
You need to accept that they don’t like you the way you like them because only then can you actually start to move on. And you deserve to move on.
Stop hating on the girl he’s flirting with or dating and stop hating him/her too!
Are they stupid for not loving the AMAZING person that you are? Yes.
But that’s not a reason to hate someone.
There’s a difference between not loving you and not liking you and just because they don’t want to get married and ride off into the sunset doesn’t mean they think you’re a horrible person.
Most importantly, do not be mad at yourself.
Don’t beat yourself up for not telling them how you feel, not saying anything sooner, or not being enough to warrant any returned affection.
The truth is, it just wasn’t meant to be -at the very least it’s not meant to be at this moment in time.
So breathe and try to let the anger go, as hard as that is.
“Maybe if I tell him, he’ll confess how much he’s always loved me but was scared I didn’t feel the same way.”
“Maybe if I tell him, he’ll suddenly have an epiphany that he’s loved me all along but never new.”
“Maybe he was just stunned by my confession that his 'I’m sorry I don’t feel the same' was really just a force of habit but now how he really feels.”
We’ve all been through this phase where we try to keep the happiness and the hope in our heads — the part where we try to keep ourselves away from the pain.
But take a moment and really think about it.
You’re not teenagers anymore and for the most part, you can tell if a guy is interested in you.
If, however, you never told them how you feel and you really believe that saying something can change the outcome, go ahead.
At the very least it will give you closure and the ability to move on to the next phase.
And then it hits you: they don’t love you back.
All your dreams come shattering around you and you can’t help but feel like there’s no hope left in this world, at least not for you.
It’s ok to let yourself have a little time to wallow in the misery and pain.
It’s even good to let it all out and cry. It’s healthy and the best way to heal.
But don’t let yourself use this time to pull away from the people who can help you the most.
Get a pint of ice cream, grab a friend or two so you have a shoulder to cry on, and watch some movies that will give you a good excuse when you bawl your heart out.
That’s what friends are there for — to help each other in good times and the bad.
And one day, after going through all of the other emotions, you’ll realize you’re ok.
Yes, you loved someone who didn’t love you back.
That’s ok – it doesn’t mean love isn’t out there for you.
After all, as cliché as it sounds, every wrong guy brings you a step closer to the right one.