Three cheers for YOU!
For a long time, in order to feel confident in new situations, I had to have a drink in hand.
I wasn't an alcoholic, but I'm related to enough of them to have been aware that I was starting to use booze as a crutch to bolster my confidence.
I knew I had to change things or risk a serious problem unfolding, but the truth was ... I didn't know HOW to be confident without alcohol.
Confidence is something some people are born with.
For others, like me and maybe you, it's something we have to learn.
It's not always easy, but learning how to be confident without alcohol is totally possible.
Remember, you are a unique person. You're a gift to know, and every time you doubt that you're insulting yourself.
Don't insult yourself: you're all you've got, and you're in for the long haul!
Thankfully, you've also got us here to help too!
Here are 5 things to help you remember how to be confident without alcohol.
1. Remember that this isn't a movie.
In a movie, there is a star.
That star is the focus of every scene.
Every other person in the movie exists just for the star to engage with, to make witty quips, to impress.
That's not real life.
If you get nervous or stressed out about how you'll be perceived walking into a big party and your gut is telling you to head for the booze, remember that.
That room full of strangers isn't waiting for you to say something brilliant.
Nobody is expecting you to keep them entertained.
Nobody is expecting you to feel totally comfortable immediately with a bunch of people you don't know.
Remembering that can instantly alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling and help you feel confident even without alcohol.
2. Imagine the worst possible outcome.
So you're freaking out about a first date you're about to go on.
You're so freaked out that you're already considering pre-gaming with a cocktail (or three) before he shows up.
Take a second, and think about the worst possible outcome.
You go out on the date and have nothing to say, you find each other dull, he turns out to be crazy.
You go home early, journal about it and go on with your life.
Even the worst case scenario isn't the end of the world.
Besides, wouldn't you rather be sober so you can figure out if this is a person you want to get to know better?
3. Consider if a hangover is worth it.
In my younger years I had no issue knocking back one too many to bolster my confidence.
But then I hit my 30s.
Now, there is almost nothing I can think of that would make me feel so lacking in confidence that I'd be willing to suffer through a brutal hangover.
So you want to make a big splash at the office party, that's great!
But do you want to have to call in sick the next day because you splashed a little too much?
I think so.
4. Travel in a group of friends.
Booze is a lot of fun, but it can't talk or keep you company the way friends can.
If you've got an event coming up where you feel like you're going to need help in order to the best, most confident version of yourself, bring a group of friends.
They will support you without making you have to pee every three minutes.
5. Remember what alcohol really is.
Alcohol might make you feel all shiny and sparkly at first, but don't forget what it really is.
That giddy feeling is going to dissipate and bleed into feelings of sadness and fatigue.
And when you're feeling sad and tired you aren't going to feel super confident.
When you drink, it should be social, or because you like the taste, not because you feel like YOU aren't enough.
Trust me, you ARE enough, and if you doubt it, look to the people who love you.
If you or someone you know is suffering from alcoholism, go here for help and support.