I'm one of the fat girls.
Sometimes, I'm fatter than other times.
My weight (and my body image) changes depending on my mood, my workload, and the seasons.
What doesn't change is how I am treated as one of the fat girls with the audacity to exist in the world unapologetically.
When you're one of the fat girls, there's a whole list of things that you can't do, a list of things that would never happen to you, because you're fat.
Or at least that's what society wants you to think!
Boy oh boy, we aren't gonna let that stand!
1. Wear a sexy costume
"Your fat rolls are a public menace. How dare you feel comfortable enough in your own skin to dress up as Lara Croft, Tomb Raider?"
It's ridiculous that a woman who is confident in her own body should have to change the way she dresses to please to total strangers who aren't as confident and happy as she is.
2. Wear a bathing suit
"If you put on a bathing suit than everyone will see your fat thighs, and if people see your fat thighs their entire day will be ruined. If you want to swim, book solo time at a pool with the lights off."
I'm fat, and you can't keep me OUT of a bathing suit during the summer months. Unless you know, I'm skinny dipping. Being fat doesn't remove my right to enjoy the same things skinny people enjoy.
3. Smile in public
"You're fat, how dare you smile as though you aren't an insult to every single human being with eyes?"
If I walk down the street smiling in public, the chances are high that someone will call me a name. But just because I'm fat that does not remove my right to be happy.
4. Have a hot boyfriend
"Didn't you get the memo? Fat girls are universally repulsive. So what if that hot guy is into you, men like him should ONLY date thin women."
Bullshit. Men like what they like. My boyfriend's hot and he loves me, he doesn't care how fat I am. Get over it, skinny people.
"Let's be honest, you've eaten enough."
We need to eat to live. But if I eat in public, and I'm not eating baby spinach leaves, people seem to think it's okay to judge what I'm eating. It's not okay.
"You think you're being charming and sweet, but the truth is you're making a fool of yourself. "
No, I'm being charming and sweet, and you're just jealous that you ain't got game as fly as this hot, fat woman.
7. Sit down on public transportation
"Oh my god how dare you! Sure, you've been working on your feet for 12 hours, but if you sit down on a train and someone sits next to you, they might catch a case of the fats! Ew!"
I used to get hurt feelings when people wouldn't sit next to me on the subway, now I just relish the extra room. If they think I'm too repulsive to sit next to, that's THEIR problem.
8. Look people in the eye
"If we could get that woman from Game of Thrones with the shame bell to follow you around, we would."
When you don't look someone in the eye, you're denying their right to exist. I'm proud of who I am, and I will always make eye contact with people, whether they like it or not.
9. Post cute selfies
"It's fine for everyone else to use flattering ridiculous angles for their sexy selfies, but when you do it, you're lying and trying to pull one over on us. "
Look, I can't help it that I'm naturally sexy and that my selfies come out looking sexy. I'm not "pulling one over on you", I'm just sharing my beauty.
10. Need assistance of any kind
"Maybe if you were less fat you'd be able to reach that toilet paper on the tallest shelf. "
Uh, losing weight does not make you taller, jerks. It just makes you weigh less, end of story.
11. Eat dessert
"Now you're just rubbing your fat girl self in our faces."
Please don't project your food issues onto my passion for chocolate mousse and my happiness to eat it, even though I'm fat and know that invites belittling mean comments.
12. Wearing sexy underwear
"There's nothing sexy about a fat body, you're just wasting your money and embarrassing yourself. "
My fat body is also a sexy body. Deal with it.
13. Go to Walmart
"If you're fat at Walmart, it's my right to take photos of you, post them on the internet, and make fun of you."
Just because a person doesn't fit your standard of beauty, that's no reason for you demean them and violate their right to privacy. Shame on you.
14. Claim to be fit
"Fat people don't work out. That's why they're fat."
I work out three days a week, I bet I can run a mile faster than you, and I weigh 213 pounds. BOOM.
15. Be successful
"Fat girls don't deserve to start their own companies."
A woman's size has NOTHING to do with her worth, and NOTHING to do with what she can accomplish.
16. Be a vegetarian or vegan
"Obviously, if you're fat you live on a diet of giant turkey legs."
Being fat doesn't mean I sit around eating crap all day. You can be fat and be respectful to your body. Educate yourself.
17. Get pregnant
"You're already fat and you think you deserve to be allowed to be put in charge of another human life? Unbelievable."
Being fat doesn't mean I'm not allowed to create life. It's my body, and it's my choice.
18. Have an affair
"That would require not one, but TWO different people finding you attractive and let's be honest, that's impossible."
As a fat woman has had men fighting over her, let me tell you this: you couldn't be more wrong.
19. Lose weight
"You CANNOT lose weight. Because if you did, who would be the fat friend?"
If I decide to diet, if I decide to lose weight, that's my choice, and what I choose to do with my body should not impact how you relate to me as a person.
20. Have a gluten allergy
"All fat people love donuts and cupcakes, you liar."
Tell that to every single fat woman with celiac disease.
21. Wear leggings
"Nobody wants to see your fat ass."
Yes, they do. My fat ass is round and strong and perfect and if I want to wear leggings I will.
22. Be loved
"Fat people clearly don't love themselves, so why the hell would anyone else love them?"
I love myself. I haven't always. But I love myself a lot.
And I love my fat brothers and sisters. I think anyone who is angry enough to spew this kind of vitriol at a fat person has a whole lot of their OWN self-hatred to address.
23. Get raped
"Fat is ugly, and ugly people don't get raped."
Rape has nothing to do with how you look. It's an act of violence and control. Being fat doesn't protect you from sexual violence.
24. Expect to be treated like a human
"If you wanted to be treated like a human, fat girl, you'd do everything possible just to be like everyone else. Clearly, you don't want that."
The number on my scale does not measure how much like a human you are required to treat me. I breathe, I take up space, I am here on earth, thus, I am due respect.
25. Feel pain
"Fat girls are clowns, it's impossible that stuff like tripping or being dumped could hurt them emotionally or physically."
Tell that to me when I got stuck in that basement door and everyone laughed. Tell that to me when I try to communicate what real fat woman face every day and am told I'm wrong or not doing it right.
Tell me any of that and then try to live one day in my shoes. We feel more pain than most will ever know, and the worst part is how casually much of that cruelty is doled out.
26. Take up space in the universe
"You're a woman AND you're fat? That's a double whammy. We can kiiiiind of make room for a woman on the planet, but a fat woman who refuses to subscribe to our rules about how women are supposed to be? I don't think so."
It's hard enough to be a woman, but being a fat woman can feel impossible.
It can feel like people are telling you that you need to disappear.
You are fat, and you are beautiful, and you are stronger than you could ever know.