"I smell the sheets."
That sex was great, we hope. But what do you do now? Sure, you are probably going to cuddle. You may even engage in a second round. But a lot of us have little after sex rituals that we always do after scoring.
Some may be as expected — a whole lot of you always pee after sex, even if you don't know why — but then there are others that are about morale, and others just about what you are into. Some women might high-five their partner, while others indulge in a snack. Hell, there's a lot of us who are a whole lot like George Costanza.
But others are more practical — they may fix their makeup, tidy up, or take a moment to chat about what they were into and what they may want to do differently next time. It may feel like a stiff business meeting, but it's actually a great idea to ensure you have a better time during your next romp.
We asked 7 women about their after sex rituals, and here's what they had to say.
1. We assess the sex episode.
"My husband and I sort of assess the sex episode. We ask each other what we liked most about it and what we didn't; we always want to get better and stop the things that the other person didn't like."
2. I act like a guy.
"No cuddling or soft talk. I don't regard sex as a romantic act but more as a physical act. I like to sleep, watch TV or read my book after sex."
3. I wash my face.
4. I immediately pee.
"I always have to pee after sex... it's something someone told me to do to decrease the chance of pregnancy forever ago, and I think it's just habit now. I've tried to NOT do it a couple times but I get weirded out and have to go."
"I sit on the toilet for basically ever waiting to go pee. Like, forever."
5. I perform a post-coital energy release.
"The first thing I do is head to the shower to rinse off. Then I go back to my room and turn around counterclockwise three times to disperse the dark energy my honey and I just summoned. I like to use the damp towel from my post-coital shower to wipe away the chalk pentagram I drew when things got hot and heavy. Also, if any of the demons I called forth didn't manage to extinguish the candles around my sanctum, I make sure to blow them out. Safety first!"
6. I chug a TON of water.
"The best way to be ready to do it again is to re-energize, and I've discovered my partner and I both having a glass of water after we have sex makes that happen way faster."
7. I masturbate.
"Let's be honest: We don't always get there during the main event, so sometimes some self-service afterward becomes necessary."
8. I smell the sheets.
"Isn't that smell sexy?"
9. I elevate my hips.
"When I was trying to get pregnant, I'd shove a pillow under my butt and stay there for 20 minutes with my hips elevated to try to encourage the sperm to find an egg. It worked, by the way."
10. I change the sheets.
"Because who wants to sleep on a wet spot?"
11. I smack my partner on the ass.
"And tell him he did a good job if it was really good."
12. I wipe off the extra semen on my partner's stomach.
"If any sperm or wet stuff got on my hand, I jokingly wipe it off on my partner's stomach."