Cup size isn't everything.
There is a whole industry devoted to making women feel bad about their small boobs.
It’s true. There are manufacturing companies devoted to producing wonder bras, falsies, padding… and that doesn’t even get into the whole surgical breast enhancement racket.
Let’s put aside for the moment that many women get boob jobs or wear padded bras simply because they love how they make them feel. That’s an awesome reason to embrace the boob enhancement industry.
But, for the women who are using those resources to theoretically make themselves more desirable to men, the question remains — is all that effort worth it? Do women really need surgery or store-bought solutions to make men find them attractive despite their small breast size?
As a man, I can tell you that it’s almost certainly not worth the effort. While a woman’s breast size can totally catch a guy’s eye, it’s rarely a determining factor for whether or not a man finds a woman attractive.
In fact, here are 7 things that men hold WAY more important than small boobs when they’re falling in love (or lust) with a woman they just met.
1. Her ass.
Let’s just open with being direct and superficial and gross, OK? Even though cleavage was king for a very long time, in the age of the Kardashians, the ass has completely taken over as the primary sign of a woman’s stereotypical hotness.
It’s a better sign of their overall fitness, it speaks to the tautness of the rest of their body, and it can’t easily be supplemented by a trip to Victoria’s Secret. Young boys might obsess over boobs, but men… men are into asses.
2. Sense of humor.
Having this follow “her ass” might test a woman’s sense of humor, but it’s true. Funny women are HOT. Why are they hot? Because they excite you, they challenge you, and you want to spend time with them.
Think about this — if you were a man and you had to pick a partner for a long, dull road-trip, who would you want to accompany you? A big-busted Playboy playmate or Tina Fey? Or Samantha Bee? Or Amy Schumer? Funny will always trump boob size, because it’s harder to fake and it’s way more entertaining.
3. What’s she’s watching on TV.
No, really. If I meet a woman with big boobs who only watches Bravo reality shows and a woman with small boobs who watches Orphan Black, Fargo, and Westworld, I’m going to want to spend more time with the A-cup girl because she’s got WAY better taste and we’ll have so much more to talk about.
4. Her personal style.
This is strangely important, even for men who don’t give a damn about fashion. How a woman dresses definitely gives you an idea of what she’s like. Has care gone into her appearance? Does she look comfortable in her own clothes? Or does it look like she’s putting on a performance?
Ideally, men are looking for women who are well put together and relaxed. It doesn’t mean that dudes are going to freak out if they see a woman wearing last year’s faux fur collar, but it does mean that men want to know that she’s comfortable in her own skin.
5. Her hair.
This seems odd, right? That men would value hair over the size of a woman’s breasts, but hair makes a surprisingly strong impression on dudes. For example, I’ve never seen a man not approach a woman because her cup size was too small, but I have seen a man avoid a woman because he couldn’t deal with her dreadlocks… or perm… or bangs.
It’s superficial and weird, but men DO have hair preferences. Some love shaved sides, some ADORE dreadlocks, and some prefer everything long and simple. But, regardless, it can be much more of a dealbreaker than the size of a woman’s breasts.
6. Her voice.
Remember Fran Drescher’s character from The Nanny? With her screeching New York accent and goat-like laugh? I’m just saying that it would take phenomenally large breasts to draw a man’s attention away from something as grating as that.
Voices matter. If you can’t listen to a woman talk for hours without thinking “My god, my ears are bleeding,” her boob size won’t mean anything.
7. How she judges their faults.
So, yes, men do value other things over a woman’s breast size, but do you know what men REALLY love?
When a woman values other things over his own physical shortcomings.
Because, chances are, his hair could be thicker, his face could be more symmetrical, and his penis could be… girthier. But, if she ignores all that and gives the guy a chance, he’ll be eternally grateful. Even if she is flat as a surfboard.