Basically, they're a lot less likely to be kicked in the balls.
I think we can all agree that one of the worst parts of dating is having to tell the person you're talking to that you're not as into them as you thought you might be. It sucks, and don't we all wish there was a way to avoid this process entirely?
Well, there is. Ghosting — for those who are lucky enough to have yet to experience it — is when a person just stops talking to the person they're dating without any explanation whatsoever.
From the view of the ghoster, it sounds great. No awkward conversations or having to deal with someone crying it front of you. Not having to face the fact that you're a total dipsh*t for liking this person back (even though it's really not your fault).
No drama, no problems.
Plus, if you think about it, maybe leaving altogether is better than having to tell the person you don't like them. Isn't that a lot less hurtful?
No, not from the perspective of the ghostee. A large amount of disrespect that comes with ghosting can linger in your brain for a very long time. You have to deal with the fact that someone didn't care about you enough to even let you know that they weren't feeling it. And that leaves you to wonder what went wrong, which is a dangerous road to travel.
As both the ghoster and the ghostee, I've seen all the reasons why it sucks, but also why people do it. No matter the reasoning behind it, it's a sh*tty thing to do.
But people still do it, and usually, I find guys are the ones doing the ghosting. So in a heroic attempt to figure out what the f*ck is up, I asked some of my guy friends to weigh in and tell us why men ghost.
1. It's just much easier.
"If a dude is talking to a chick, and then the chick does something that is slightly against what their ideal person is, instead of going through the hassle of talking about it, they just disappear. It's just easier." — Matt M.
2. Ghosting doesn't really make sense, honestly.
"I don’t understand ghosting. I mean, I understand what it is, I just don’t understand why it happens. I’ve never ghosted a girl. That’s not to say that I’ve been interested in every girl I’ve ever been out with, but I don’t understand the idea of just stopping communication. Call me old-fashioned, but I think that closure is just as important for the person who wants to stop the relationship as it is for the person being let down." — Harrison F.
3. Commitment is a no-no.
"There was one girl I was seeing way back before social media, and we were just having fun, and then all of a sudden she wanted commitment. It felt out of the blue so I stopped talking to her. I guess I kind of led her on because I was a dick, but I just wanted her in my pipeline." — Derek P.
4. Men jump to conclusions.
"Honestly I feel like once dudes hit 30, they feel like every girl out there is crazy. So as soon as the girl does something they might think is off, they leave. Guys jump to conclusions about a girl without getting to know her. They need to relax. They're so scared of the outcome of a conversation that they don't even want to deal with it." — Austin R.
5. We don't want to be physically hurt.
"It's easier to ghost a girl than to tell her how crazy and psychotic she is. I told a girl once that I didn't like her anymore, and she kicked me in the balls. So now I ghost them and my balls are okay." — Ryan B.
6. We want to protect our self-esteem.
"Ghosting has such an impact on a person’s self-worth. When I get ghosted by a girl, I’m left feeling like I missed a target of some kind. That there must be a flaw in my personality that prevented this person from letting me know where we stood. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t expect to be. But I think it’s important to me to understand why." — Robbie Q.