It's lust, NOT love.
By Shawn Binder
When we first get into a relationship with someone it can easily feel like love, especially if you spend more time in the bedroom than you do outside of it. The first stages of a relationship are hot and heavy, and it feels as if it will always be this way.
But it’s important to remember that just because we’re sexually attracted to someone doesn’t mean we’re in love with them.
If I had a dollar for every time I realized that I didn’t actually love someone, I just liked seeing them naked, I wouldn’t need to write articles about it! However, I understand that it can be difficult to not think with our private parts and our hearts.
So love vs. lust ... which is it? Here are five signs it is lust, not love; although if you’re OK with that, it’s a win-win situation.
When it’s lust instead of love it can feel amazing in the moment, but part of you refuses to let your mind think to the future because you know this is not the person you’re supposed to be with. He or she may give you butterflies all the time, but if you can’t imagine bringing them around Thanksgiving to meet your Grandmother then it’s a clear sign you’re solely in it for the sex.
You’re so busy sexing it up that you’ve totally skipped past the most important part of dating someone: getting to know all the banal and silly details about each other. If you’re not sure what his middle name is or what her favorite color is, chances are you don’t know the person as well as you think. One of the cornerstones of love is knowing all those inane details about each other that no one else should know. If you’re not sure you do, remind yourself that love is far more than just knowing exactly what someone likes in bed.
What is a date? You’re not even sure any more because all your plans with your significant other involve lube and Seamless. It is not necessarily a bad thing to have a lot of sex, but if that is your sole form of hanging out, then chances are it is going to stay your sole form of hanging out.
Instead of getting a ‘good morning, baby,’ text you find yourself receiving texts like ‘I was rock hard thinking about you this morning,’ then chances are you’re in lust. It isn’t like couples don’t sext, but if you only feel comfortable sending your significant other your dirty plans for them later, consider that it may not be love.
Finally, if the only emotional response they’re able to get out of you is horniness, it is lust for sure. A relationship should span the spectrum of emotions, from overwhelming happiness to crushing disappointment. If the only thing you feel around the person is frisky, then yup, you my friend are most definitely in lust and not love.
This article was originally published at theBERRY. Reprinted with permission from the author.