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I don't need anymore BS.
By Emily Blackwood — Written on Nov 18, 2016
For some reason, honesty has fallen behind on the list of important moral traits to have. People seem to be more interested in loyalty and entertainment value in their friendships and relationships than someone who can tell it like it is.
Maybe we think honesty is just too hard to come by nowadays, or maybe we deal with it because we don't think we actually could handle total honesty, but whatever the reason, we have a hard time demanding the truth. Which is something we deserve — in most cases.
Obviously, we don't need someone to be unnecessarily honest about not liking our new haircut or thinking we actually do look slightly chubby in those jeans.
We're humans and sometimes a little coddling goes a long way.
But when little white lies turn into giant mounds of fabrication, it's time to cut the crap and just be real.
My rule for honesty is this: it's the best policy if the lie will eventually hurt more than the truth.
If you have to constantly keep covering up a lie, it's better to just save yourself the stress and come clean. If you're just prolonging someone's pain, it's better to rip off the band-aid and come clean.
Because you see, in order to demand honesty from the people in your life, you also have to practice it.
There's absolutely nothing worse than people who expect the best from their boyfriends and best friends but don't make any effort to return the favor. The only people who can ask for good behavior — and kick people out of their lives if they don't change — are the people who are already living that behavior themselves.
So if you find yourself in a place where you feel like everyone is always lying to you, the first thing you should do is check yourself. How many times a day do you lie? Are they little, harmless half-truths or does your boyfriend think you're studying when you're really on a Tinder date?
Being honest with yourself is just as important as being honest with other people.
And while at first, you may feel like telling the truth will only hurt them eventually you learn that being straight up in the beginning of the relationship or whatever situation you're entering will actually save everyone a lot of heartache and stress later on.
Telling the guy you're not into him the moment your realize it is a lot better than waiting three more months. Telling your boss you can't take on any more work is better than over committing yourself to something you can't do. Telling your friend you're too broke to take a trip for her birthday is better than waiting until the last minute to bail because of a cold.
We cause ourselves more stress and heartache than we realize. If we can understand that being honest with people is not only better for ourselves, but also for them, then we could live a happier, more honest life.
And then we've earned the right to kick out liars who have yet to learn that lesson.
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