Photo: WeHeartIt
Now that's my kind of exercise!
By Rebecca Jane Stokes — Written on Nov 11, 2016
If you are big into weight-lighting and you're a man (two things I am not), then you've probably heard that it's a bad idea to masturbate before going to lift weights.
The science behind this idea is that masturbation that leads to orgasm (which I think we can all agree is the best kind) temporarily lowers your testosterone levels, making it more difficult to build muscle mass.
I'm not a dude, nor do I lift weights in a serious way, but I am a woman who exercises, which means that I have testosterone in my body and the potential to see the efficacy of my workouts dip if this were true. I mean, if I had a penchant for masturbating before going to the gym.
There was only one way to find out for sure.
That's right, I masturbated and then went to the gym to workout.
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Usually, if I am going to have a recreational orgasm, I can manage to talk myself into believing that it was my workout of the day. But because I am an honest scientist, I was more than willing to both masturbate AND exercise and report back to you all.
First, the control: A regular workout.
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I didn't masturbate, then I walked to the local YMCA (represent!) and did my usual circuit training on the nautilus weightlifting machines. It was challenging enough, but I had some pretty solid show tunes going to keep me nice and locked in.
Pro-tip: It's much easier to power through lateral lifts while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.
When I was done with my reps, I jogged for twenty minutes on the treadmill.
It was not pleasant, but then again, running never really is.
When I was done, I felt physically beat, but also euphoric. I also managed to walk past Chipotle on my way home without eating seven burrito bowls, and that felt like a real victory.
Second, the experiment: Masturbation plus a delightfully delicious orgasm and then exercise.
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I woke up feeling not remotely horny, a fact that rapidly changed once I started masturbating with my Womanizer vibrator.
Pro-top: it's much more difficult to masturbate to orgasm while listening to the Hamilton soundtrack.
I came pretty quickly and immediately wanted to go back to sleep.
Instead, I got up, got dressed, cursed the name of the lord on high, and walked to the gym.
Once I arrived, I began the same routine as the day before.
The weight-lifting was fine, I kind of felt like I had to poop throughout, but I think that was unrelated to my masturbation and orgasm.
At least, I hope it was.
When it came time to jog, it felt the same as the day before except I was super aware of my clitoris while I was jogging. I think that's probably because it was still a bit sensitive from all the masturbation.
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This was pleasant. If anything, it was a nice distraction from the fact that my lungs were on fire.
On my way home from the gym, however, I did go into Chipotle.
Thankfully, the line was too long and I was forced to go home and make better decisions.
I did not find that masturbation had any effect, positive or negative, on my workout. And, despite a lot of myths to the contrary, that's what actual science says too!
That said, if you're going to plan your masturbation around your workout, maybe go for the gold (the gold being orgasm) AFTER the gym.
It is obviously a healthier reward than a trip to Chipotle.
