The stars know why you can't stop thinking about him.
Wouldn’t it be great if all breakups were clean and easy? You break up, there are no bad feelings on either side, and you go about your lives, a little better having had that experience. When you run into them, possibly with their new girlfriend or wife, everything is pleasant and friendly. There’s no late night calling and no asking, “Did you ever really love me?” because everything would be cool.
But life being life, we don’t always get the easy breakups; sometimes we get the messy, out-of-the-blue, I never saw it coming breakups. Then there are those breakups where you might have been the one doing the breaking up but you don’t get over it quickly. No, your breakup lingers on and on, and you miss your ex so much you can barely breathe.
When you continue to obsess about an ex, people will tell you that all you need is a little time and you’ll get through it. It’s true that time, for the most part, does help you heal, but what people don’t tell you is that broken heart recovery time can be months or even years.
And during that extended amount of time that it’s taking you to get over your ex, it can be filled with obsessing over them.
Obsessing over an ex takes many different forms. You might constantly check their social media accounts or maybe you try to avoid that and just go through your entire relationship in your head, reliving the great parts and analyzing the bad moments while looking for clues about how you could have done things differently.
When you’re in obsession mode, it can be hard to understand why exactly you’re obsessing over this ex now. He probably wasn’t any better or worse than any of your other exes.
You love a good chase and you feel as if you never fully caught your ex. He remained mysterious and a little elusive throughout your relationship and then he broke it off. He's definitely the one who got away, and it annoys you and turns you on at the same time. You want a love rematch but he couldn't be less interested.
You've taken your ex and, in your mind, have turned him from an OK guy to the perfect guy. You've built him up so much in your head that it would be impossible for him to ever live up to your image of him, but that doesn't stop you from thinking about him all the time.
You're confident enough that you know you can get him back if you want to, but do really you want to? You keep going back and forth about how you would get him back versus going after someone new. It's exhausting. He may not know it, but you're toying with him the way a cat does with a mouse. Move on and start focusing on something healthier like sustainable goods or whether Tinder is a good option for you.
You can't stop remembering how your ex just seemed to get you. Whenever you were feeling down or had a cold, he knew exactly what you needed. He was attentive to every word you spoke and every emotion you felt, and you still broke up with him. Try to remind yourself that, in the end, he wasn't marriage material and you would like to be in a long-term relationship.
You can't stop thinking about your ex because you're almost certain they can't stop thinking about you. I mean, why wouldn't they be a little obsessed with you? You're the whole package — smart, well-dressed, funny, and smoking hot. Why doesn't he want to be with you? You're going to drive yourself nuts if you can't figure out why he's not trying to get back together with you.
It took so long for you to feel comfortable enough with your ex to even consider a relationship with them, and now it's over. You wish you could just do the research, come up with a plan, and make everything work that didn't work. If only people were as easy to fix as cars or math problems.
It's not pretty but you broke up with your ex because you thought you could do better. You agonized over the decision to break up and almost immediately regretted it. You hate confrontations, so you just dumped him by text and now he won't even talk to you. You try to distract yourself from obsessing by indulging yourself in alcohol, food, and weed, but they're not working.
You're very selective about who you get involved with and there hasn't been anyone else since you ended things with your ex. You tend to get a little obsessive anyway, so it's a natural jump for you to start obsessing over your last relationship. It doesn't help that you still have very strong feelings for him that don't seem to be lessening with time.
It's funny — you almost always love new places, tastes, and people but you prefer to get involved with someone you have a history with than somebody new. Your ex understands you and was always up for some spontaneous fun. You want a relationship without all the messy parts.
For someone so sensible and dependable, you have a reputation for often getting involved with the wrong people. Your ex was completely unsuitable for you — he had no 401k, but he made you laugh and forced you to have fun. The added bonus: he was amazing in bed. You don't want to spend too much time away from work thinking about your ex, but sometimes you allow yourself to go over the good times in your head just before you fall asleep.
You have a hard time letting go of all your exes. If you didn't, you wouldn't have a bunch of material for stories, songs, poems, and other art projects. If you were totally honest, you could admit that when you're experiencing heartbreak, you're at your most creative. You obsess about his smile and the way he raised his eyebrows when he was skeptical. Will you ever find a better muse than him?
Without your ex, you feel adrift. Since he's been out of your life, everything feels different and changed, but not in a good way. You don't know what to do as he was more than your partner — he was your friend and that's what makes it doubly painful.