You know how there are ass men and boob men?
Don't get me wrong, he appreciate the curves of my butt and when I wear a low-cut top and an excellent bra he's the first to forget that my boobs are not eyes. But at the end of the day his heart belongs to my vagina. Particularly, my natural vagina smell.
If I'm lounging in bed before taking a shower he's been known to lean over and say quietly "I can smell your vagina" with the same sort of eager expression of a young child on Christmas Eve speculating about their Christmas haul.
Sometimes when we're having sex he'll pause and look down at my vagina and shake his head slowly, a grin on his face, like a man appreciating a fine sports car.
"Beautiful," he'll say.
Yeah, it definitely took some getting used to.
We go together well in a lot of ways and his flagrant appreciation of my vagina in all its glory is one that makes me swoon each and every time.
Do you blame me?
We live in a society where we are taught that our vaginas are a problem.
Your vagina is too hairy, so wax it.
Your vagina smell is disgusting, so try this vast assortment of feminine hygiene products.
Your vagina is too bloody, so let us take your money while you try everything imaginable to prevent yourself from ever feeling the shame of accidentally reminding the world that you bleed once a month.
Our vaginas are a problem that needs to be a fixed. Or so marketing campaigns would have us believe.
A product comes out to wipe away sweat from men's testicles and it makes headlines as a hilarious novelty.
Less funny? That PH-destroying, woman-hating douche is still sold in most pharmacies.
My vagina isn't dirty, it's a vagina.
It's a complicated, ingenious ecosystem designed to keep bad things out and let good things in.
Does it produce moisture? Yup. Does it have a smell? Yup.
Is that smell bad? No.
That smell smells like vagina.
I am not saying that we should never bathe. There's a difference between the healthy smell of a woman's vagina and the accumulation of an entire day's worth of ass-sweat.
Shower it up, y'all. Basic hygiene is where it's at.
But keep that soap away from your vagina. It doesn't need it. A little water and BAM you are done! It's like the water-only powered dishwasher of our deepest fantasies.
Do not be ashamed that your vagina smells like a vagina.
Because you know what's infinitely worse? Having testicles. A swift kick in the limes and BAM, every tree in his forest is burned down. Plus, can you even fathom how irksome it must be to arrange them inside of pants?
I'd rather flaunt the natural smell of my vagina than worry about ball adjustment every single day of the week.
Accepting and loving our bodies starts with us. It starts with baby steps. It starts with maybe throwing away your vagina-refreshing spray and instead let your vagina do what it was damn well designed to do.
If a guy won't go down on your because he doesn't like the way vagina smells then he's clearly never had a dirty penis in his mouth. Because you know what isn't always fresh and lovely? The penis. Don't believe me? Let me introduce you to call a little something called smegma. Or the scent of any man's unwashed man's balls.
Being a woman doesn't make you dirty, it makes you miraculous, powerful, and just as worthy of respect as any man.
We need to stop hiding our vaginas and sterilizing them so that they'll be more "acceptable".
The time has come for our vaginas to be just as bold and in your face as the Suffragettes were in days of old.
All praise and honor to the vagina, long may she reign!