People show their crazy when angry.
Anger is a really strange emotion, and it's one of the most terrifying things we can witness in a person. Unlike other emotions, anger, when directed at a person, can result in the person's death if it's not controlled.
It's not too hard to find stories of spouses that got into heated arguments only to end up hurting each other. No one wants to be the center of that news story, and what's really scary is that anger on that level is somewhat common.
Also unlike most other emotions, it's really hard to gauge how someone will react when they're angry. Sometimes a person will react exactly as you'd expect them to, but it's not always the case.
The people who seem like they would be the most dangerous when angered can actually be very constructive and capable of talking things out. The people who seem like they'd be mellow when angry can easily be the type of people who snap and break bones.
Here's the biggest reason why you need to see him angry before you get married: How someone reacts when angered can also give you a good idea of whether or not they're going to be abusive. This is why my mom's best friend advised her not to marry until she saw how my dad reacted when upset.
I personally have dumped guys after hearing how they behaved when angry with an ex, once even before we went on an official date. After all, if the guy hit his ex, who's to say he won't hit me later on, too? It's a lot easier to end an engagement due to an anger issue than to escape a marriage where he just broke your legs during a fit of rage.
Unfortunately, you can't really know until you actually see how they are with others. If you wouldn't want that rage directed at you, don't marry that person.
Finding out sooner rather than later can save your life and can save you thousands in divorce court fees, wedding reservations, and bridal stuff. But it's also important to see what sets him off, too.
Most of the time, people will warn you when they have something that sets them off. But if you notice that what made him angry was something really small in comparison to his reaction, you need to rethink your relationship. He might have a good explanation for this, though, so you may want to hear him out.
If what angered him had to do with him thinking he “owns you” or that you need to back away from friends, work, family or other important things, you need to cancel the engagement immediately. These are red flags of controlling behavior. Considering that many abusers drop their charming façades close to their wedding day, you need to pay attention to them.
The bottom line is that anger is a powerful emotion. And people show their crazy when angry.
Anger is legitimately dangerous if expressed poorly. If you want to feel safe with your partner, make sure you see how they behave when angered, and learn what angers them. If the anger they show scares you, it's not a relationship that's meant to be.