25 LOL Things Your Favorite Celebs Have Said About Sex

Love, Sex

Sex shouldn't be so serious.

Sex: one of the only things everyone across the globe can agree is the best thing in the world ... except maybe really good food. It's like the cure-all for any ailment you have — boredom, loneliness, heartbreak ... or even a way to cheer yourself up.

It doesn't matter how you do it, EVERYONE loves sex.


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Sex doesn't always have to be hand in hand with romance, either, and the best people to prove that are comedians and celebrities. It doesn't matter if they are best known for being in politics, acting in more movies than you can count on both hands or doing stand up comedy, celebrities always have something to say; and oftentimes, that something is about sex.

One of the greatest pieces of advice someone can give you is to have a sense of humor in bed. If you take sex too seriously, chances are you (and your partner) will be disappointed.


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If you can't learn to laugh at yourself when it comes to life, love and sex, then take some pointers from celebrities and comedians. Not only do they come up with some of the best tips about life and love, they also bring some much-needed honesty when in comes to these topics.

With comedic actresses like Amy Schumer and Tina Fey showing women that you don't always (or ever) have to be the sensible woman who doesn't talk about sex, it has become MUCH easier for us ladies to be more ourselves instead of worrying what others think of us.

And for anyone else who just needs a daily dose of funny, sometimes tongue-in-cheek comedy, you can always count on people like Louis C.K. and Chelsea Handler to be there.

We pulled together some of the funniest quotes about sex from your favorites comedians and celebs to remind us that sex is fun, but it's better when it's funny, too.

If you're searching for the best quotes and memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feel inspired yourself) ... look no further! From the sweetest love quotesinspirational sayings, and hilarious friendship truths, we've got you covered.

 

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.” — Steve Martin

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” — Billy Crystal

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was ‘The man goes on top and the woman underneath.’ For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.” — Joan Rivers

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“My mother told me that life isn’t always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.” — Chelsea Handler

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“Humans love sex, we need sex, it's how we connect, it reminds us we're alive, it's the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.” — Billy Crystal

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead." — Garry Shandling

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt." — Mike Birbiglia

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"You could put a blonde wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it." — Tina Fey

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?" — Bette Midler

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.” — Marilyn Monroe

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.” — Woody Allen

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I don’t have sex 'drive.' I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in.'" — Louis C.K.

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty." — John Waters

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I remember the first time I had sex. I kept the receipt." — Groucho Marx

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex." — Bill Maher

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I believe in sex on a first date. Otherwise, how do you know if a second date is worth the effort?" — Jackie Weaver

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"Nymphomaniac: A woman as obsessed with sex as an average man." — Mignon McLaughlin

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“The difference between sex and love is I've never come from love.” — Amy Schumer

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

“See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.” — Robin Williams

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"The best time of day for sex is anytime because it's sex." — Cameron Diaz

Photo: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eva_Longoria
Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"The best sex I ever had was with my vibrator." — Eva Longoria

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"I'm trisexual. I'll try anything once." — P!nk

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." — Sharon Stone

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where men are just grateful" — Robert De Niro

Funny Quotes Sex Quotes From Famous Celebrities

"Sex can lead to nasty things like herpes, gonorrhea, and something called relationships." —​ Sacha Baron Cohen

 

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