This Vagina Christmas Tree Ornament Is The Perfect Holiday Bauble

Photo: Etsy
vagina christmas tree ornament with clitoris
Buzz

Deck the halls!

It feels like just a few weeks ago fall couldn’t here soon enough, and now I’m sitting here in my living room shivering under a fleece blanket and several cats.

That can mean only one thing (other than the fact that I should get rid of some of these cats): The holidays are right around the corner, and with them such festive activities like brewing up boozy eggnog, going caroling, and of course, decorating the Christmas tree.

Lots of families have different traditions when it comes to decorating the Christmas tree.

When I was growing up, “Santa” decorated the tree on Christmas Eve when we were all asleep and we would wake up to discover our gifts and perfectly decorated tree.

At the time this was all part of the magic.

Later I would realize that it’s simply that my mother is unstoppable control freak who recoiled at the thought of her children placing the ornaments in unsightly clumps on the freshly cut pine taking up residence in her living room.

Now that I’m an adult, I have a Christmas tree of my own. It’s about three feet tall and plugs into the wall to give a festive glow. I’d go bigger and go fresher if it weren't for the aforementioned cats — yeah, they are fans of Christmas trees, who are fans of destroying Christmas trees.

Maybe they are just Jewish and I have unwittingly insulted them! This has never crossed my mind before. Note to self: Buy menorah.

Last year I left my Christmas tree totally undecorated (why tempt the felines further) but this year I spotted an ornament that has totally changed my mind.

BEHOLD, THE VAGINA ORNAMENT.

Giphy

Is this not the classiest and most tasteful vagina you have ever witnessed?

I cannot believe that’s a sentence I just wrote down, but it’s true and therefore I stand by it.

Etsy seller (because OF COURSE it is being sold on Etsy) Feltmelons sells these delightful vaginal treats in a variety of sizes and colors. I would go for mainly pinks and oranges, but if you are more traditional you’ll probably want to stick with green and red.
 
If you want a subtle look, they come in small sizes, but if you’re more go-big-or-go-home with your vagina crafts, there are large sizes available to meet your needs too.
 
These vaginas are hairless (thank heavens for small mercies) and instead of a felt clitoris, each ornament features a tiny silver bell to act as a clit instead. Does it get any more whimsical and charming when it comes to vagina crafts?
 
Answer: No, no it does not. 
 
Now if you’ll excuse  me I’m off to order roughly eighty of these vagina ornaments for my friends and family, so if you want one or two you’d better get to clicking yourself.
 

 

Explore YourTango