That's Madam President if you're nasty.
If you missed the debate last night, then you missed Trump at his finest — and I mean that with every ounce of sarcasm in my bones. Between interrupting Secretary Clinton several times to childishly say, "wrong," when she was clearly right and listing off the people who like him and don't like her (because he's a 10-year-old, and that's me being generous), The Donald (are people still calling him that?) also made two comments that had every viewer stop and actually say out loud, "I'm sorry, WHAT?!"
First, he said that we have some "bad hombres" in our country when the topic of immigration reform came up, which had the Twitterverse almost crash in delight as thousands of memes were instantly born. Next, despite having so much respect for women (his words, not mine), he leaned into his microphone toward the end of the debate and interrupted Clinton again while she was talking about social security.
What deep, thoughtful, terrific, bigly thing did this man have to say? "Such a nasty woman."
In that moment, you could pretty much hear a collective, "What the f*ck did he just call her?" It only took a matter of minutes before "nasty woman" became a feminist rally cry against a man who, contrary to his claims, is a racist, sexist, narcissist, egomaniac, money-hungry, xenophobic, misogynistic prick.
So where does that leave us? Well, now women need to decide if they're nasty, of course. I'm nasty. Are you? Here are 15 signs you're nasty AF.
1. You believe in a woman's right to choice.
As a nasty woman, you know that you have complete and total autonomy over your body. Just like the person next to you does — and every single damn human being on the planet. Because that's the case, you're adamant about a woman's right to make choices for her body, most specifically, her uterus.
2. You speak up instead of remaining silent.
Now, when people call you bossy — because as we all know men are bosses while women are "bossy" — you finally have a comeback: "Actually, I'm nasty." Nasty women don't bite their tongues.
3. You think building walls to keep people out is downright absurd.
Actually, not only do nasty women think this is absurd, but they like the idea of, oh, I don't know, helping people from other countries in need of asylum and/or the American dream. Also, a wall, Donald? Really? That's your damn solution?
4. You believe that the gender pay gap is an archaic way of keeping women down.
It's 2016 and we're still making 77 cents to every f*cking dollar a man makes? Considering nasty women get sh*t done, this should have been taken care of about 200 years ago... and would have, had nasty women been in charge.
5. You want to smash the patriarchy.
Nasty women are DONE having decisions for their lives made by a bunch of old white men who think they know what's best just because they have a penis. Breaking news, old dudes: Vagina beats penis any day of the week.
6. You understand that there's no "ripping" involved in abortions.
Last night we learned that Trump thinks abortions involve "ripping." I'm sorry, what? Nasty women are versed in the procedure of abortions, because, going back to #1, we believe in the right to choice.
7. You know anyone who says "All Lives Matter" is clearly missing the point.
Sure, all lives do matter, but that's not the damn point. The point is that we need to bring attention to the fact that black lives are just as important as white lives, because we live in a country that still doesn't seem to get that. Nasty women get that.
8. You understand just how important Planned Parenthood is to both women AND men.
Nasty women know that the resources that Planned Parenthood provide are endless. It's not just about the freedom to terminate, but access to condoms, STI screenings, and education. For all those anti-choice people out there, Planned Parenthood actually prevents unwanted pregnancies. Shocking, I know.
9. You want to see gun reform, because enough is a-f*cking-'nough already.
While some nasty women feel that guns should be completely outlawed (me, being that level of nasty), all nasty women want to see reform. Background checks are a necessity. Teaching people how to use and store a gun so their toddler doesn't shoot the neighbor is a necessity. It's actually basic math. Nasty women are awesome at both basic math... and all the math, in case those old white guys in Congress need some pointers.
10. You realize that "grabbing" someone's p*ssy is sexual assault.
It's not flirting. It's not cute. It's not acceptable. It's sexual assault. End of story.
11. You give a f*ck about the future.
Trump is under the delusion that, despite what scientists have PROVEN, climate change was invented by China because, according to him, all bad things are from China. Not true. Climate change is something that is real and at the rate things are going, we're f*cking doomed.
Nasty women don't live under a rock and pretend this is going to go away. Instead, they're vocal and make what changes they can in their daily lives, no matter how small, to help the devastating situation.
12. You think "boys will be boys" needs to be retired, stat.
Whether you want to call it "locker room talk" or "boys will boys," there is no excuse for the blatant misogyny that comes with these euphemisms. Nasty women believe that boys and men should no longer get a free pass when it comes to misogyny. Woman up, fellas, and get some dignity!
13. You believe all people are equal and deserving of that equality in all realms.
No matter how one identifies — whether they’re male, female, gay, straight, bi, asexual, queer, gender queer, gender fluid, transgender, or have yet to identify because human sexuality really is THAT complicated — you know you're a nasty woman when you accept all these people and are willing to fight for their civil liberties and safety in a world that's far too often less than forgiving of their difference.
14. You take the high road when insulted.
15. You drink male tears for breakfast.
Why? Because nasty women know they taste so f*cking good in coffee.
So, are you nasty or what?