Be your own damn hero.
You know the drill. You've read this article before. A hundred million different words and sentence structures all saying the same basic thing:
In theory, it's simple. Love yourself! Take a hot bath! Drink some tea and forget about all the penises in the world that broke your heart!
But like most theories, it's tough to put into action.
Self-love is easy to practice when you're getting ready in the morning and dancing to Beyonce in front of your bathroom mirror. It's a little harder to do when you're three margaritas deep at a bar and the guy who's ghosted you four times is promising you that he's "grown up" now.
We all fall off the wagon. I can't tell you how many times I've had a really empowering morning and a really regrettable night. And the next day I'm always kicking myself for not sticking to the plan.
So why don't we stick to the effing plan? Why do we constantly promise ourselves we're done getting involved with guys who are just using us and then willingly go and get ourselves used? Why do we keep ourselves stuck in this rotation of bad relationships when the solution is our god damn morning mantra?
Because guys, we're humans. And we're gonna keep messing up ... until one day we don't.
For the past few months, I've been in the cycle of bad decisions, and for while I never thought I'd get out. But then one day at the bar (going to bars less is probably also helpful), I was faced with a choice of going home with a guy who I knew didn't really like me, or going home and cuddling with my cat.
I chose the cat, and I'm proud that I did.
Even though I questioned my decision the moment I sent that "nah" text. Even though I wanted to change my mind as I walked closer and closer to my car. Even though driving home I wished I would have said yes because sex is fun and going to bed alone is boring.
Even though I went against what I kind of wanted to do, I'm still proud of myself because I did something different. I broke the cycle. I got out of the rut.
Because loving yourself isn't making a one-time choice to do so and then never having to worry about it again. It's choosing to love yourself no matter what decision you make. Even if you change your mind in five minutes or want something different tomorrow.
It's being understanding of your sometimes bad sense of judgment and human errors. It's accepting the fact that you'll never do everything perfectly. It's making a real effort to do things that will be better for yourself in the long run rather than give in to quick (but never lasting) satisfaction.
And it's being cool with giving in sometimes.
Because loving yourself isn't a one-time lesson. It's a lifelong journey.