What Kind Of Sex Toy Are YOU? (According To Your Zodiac Sign)

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This is surprisingly accurate!

We can use the zodiac to unlock all sorts of secrets about ourselves. From our daily horoscopes, to what sign makes the best soulmate for us, people have consulted the zodiac for thousands of years.

Here are YourTango, we've used the zodiac before to determine what sort of sex toy works best for each sign. Now we're taking it a step further and figuring out what kind of sex toy you would BE according to your sign. It's a funny, funny exercise that might actually teach you a little something about yourself that you never knew!

Aries (March 21 - April 19)


 

As an Aries, you are all about adventure. You love exploring the next frontier. If something is cutting-edge, you've got to have it. That's why if you were a sex toy you'd be the new We Vibe.

This couples vibrator syncs with your phone to make a comprehensive record of your sexy times. 

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aries, As Written By One

 

Taurus (April 20 - May 20)

As a Taurus, you love controlling your partner just as much as you love being soft and cuddly. That's why you are a cozy blindfold, instead of something tough and unyielding like a pair of handcuffs.

Oh Taurus, oh you better behave! 

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Taurus, As Written By One

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)


Gemini, you love to find yourself in strange new situations and seeing how quickly you can get used to them. It makes sense then, because of your explorer's heart and social spirit, that you'd be a pair of high quality anal beads. Talk about adjusting to new strange situations! 

Read: The 13 Brutal Truths About Loving A Gemini, As Written By One

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)


 

Cancer, you are an emotional storm, sometimes you need it soft and sometimes rough. Sometimes it's ass play, and other times nipple teasers.

That's why, if you were a sex toy, you'd be a mystery sex toy box replete with all kinds of tools appropriate for every mood. 

Read: The 5 Brutal Truths About Loving A Cancer, As Written By One

 

Leo (July 23 - August 22)

Leo, you are the personification of a giving spirit. You love new experiences, and in a relationship, you love sharing those experiences with your partner. You are the personification of a glorious, remote control butt plug, you're going boldly out into the world giving the gift of pleasure. 

Read: 6 Brutal Truths About Loving A Leo, As Written By One

 

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

 

 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Virgo, As Written By One

Virgo is secretive. You're also all about getting the job done. That's why you are a traditional, no batteries required, dildo.

You don't need a whole lot of frills or some high tech gimmicks to get anyone off. 

 

Libra (September 23 - October 22)

As a Libra it is crucial to you that your partner feels loved, no matter how far away they are. That's why you're this long distance sex toy, uniting hearts and loins in sexual bliss no matter how far the distance between them may be.

Read: 11 Brutal Truths About Loving A Libra, As Written By One

 

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

For Scorpios, being naked and vulnerable is no excuse to let your guard down. You like to be in charge and keep people on their toes.

That's why you are a naughty little leather paddle, perfect for spanking innocent bottoms to your heart's content. 

Read: 14 Brutal Truths About Loving A Scorpio, As Written By One

 

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)


Oh Sagittarius, you love constant activity and you love sticking with what works. If it ain't broke, why fix it? That's your motto.

That's why you are a wand vibrator, happy to keep on giving quick fast orgasms like your forebearers have done for generations. 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Sagittarius, As Written By One

 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

Capricorn, you are all about being practical and as close to the real thing as possible. The very idea of being a sex toy irritates you, but if you had to be one you would be the Fleshlight, which looks are feels enough like the real deal that you're willing to play ball.  

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Capricorn, As Written By One

 

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)


Aquarians are all about keeping it nice and equal, even when they are letting their freak flags fly in the bedroom. So OF COURSE you would be a double ended dildo! You never think of just yourself, you think about everyone else's satisfaction too. 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving An Aquarius, As Written By One

 

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)

Pisces you were a born giver, and that goes double when it comes to sex. You're also incredibly imaginative and love a fun challenge. That's why you're bedroom Twister. There's something playful about you, but there's something naughty too! 

Read: 7 Brutal Truths About Loving A Pisces, As Written By One

 

Please note: the descriptions provided here follow Western astrological dates

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